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LA44 (original poster member #38384) posted at 4:19 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013
I am eating my steel cut oats with yummy brown sugar and devonshire creme, coffee and juice while H is in conference.
I will get to the point now! We are having a good time but there is a tension here between us. We are not bickering but I feel we have not relaxed yet. We have not seen the AP but I was having an anxiety attack (sounds dramatic but nothing I couldn't handle) just as we were approaching the hotel. I did not tell H it was happening but I will today and will be more open if that happens again. He has been taking my hand, introducing me to people - I do know about 10 people here includ my FIL + his wife. They know and have been great since D-day. His wife N has been a great support to me.
I feel sad when people here see me and say, "you're real! We thought we would never see you again!" It's been 5 years since my last attemdance but....."I'm baaaack!
Anyway, I asked H to please let me know where AP is when we enter a space. So far, nothing. Grant it there were 600 people around last night but she was not to be seen. I am sure that will change today. I just want to see her and get it over with. Mc said to be ready as the ground will shift under me. Ok. Got it. Then I will look at the beautiful Rockies and enjoy the companion program events I have signed up for.
Going for a work out today. That will be good for me.
LA
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
AFrayedKnot ( member #36622) posted at 4:49 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013
Be strong. Communicate your feelings. Work together. And Have fun!!!
You can do it!!!
BS 48fWS 44 (SurprisinglyOkay)DsD DSA whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better."Knowing is half the battle"
Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 5:01 PM on Monday, September 16th, 2013
Yes, do keep him in the loop as to what you are feeling. Teamwork all the way.
Hang in there!!
Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
Scubachick ( member #39906) posted at 4:35 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013
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