I found reconciliation to be a process, not an singular event. I never decided to stay or go. I just kept working at it. And here I am, 6+ years out, happily married to the same man.
Reconciling takes a huge amount of work from both parties. My spouse had to understand I couldn't "officially" commit to staying married to him. All I could do was decide day by day if it was worth it to keep trying.
Try to bite off smaller pieces of the whole thing. You don't have to commit right now. You can choose to take it a step at a time, see if your wayward husband remains worthy of your efforts.
What is he doing to ensure your recovery will be successful?