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Newest Member: Netflixandstuff (61822)

User Topic: WW has first IC
♂ 40199
Member # 40199
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WW had her first IC session this morning. It must have really shaken her up as she has been doing a lot of crying and has been very withdrawn since the appointment. Is this a good sign or a bad sign? Or am I trying see something where nothing exists?

I have not (and will not) ask about her IC, but WW volunteered the therapist called her out on ‘some stuff’ and told her if she expected to still be married in five years she was going to have to stop lying to herself as the first step. I guess he was pretty blunt about it when he told her. She also has some homework to start before her next session (Thursday morning). I hope she is willing to continue with this guy. Our agreement is if she doesn’t like him after three sessions she can find a different one.

WW is also asking why I haven’t questioned her about the affair. I told her I needed to wait until we are in MC. That I felt MC would be a safer environment for me to ask and her to answer. She said she is dreading MC and my questions but can’t undo what she has done. Again, I am wondering if her dreading MC is a good sign, bad sign, or no sign.

Me–BS age 61
Her -- WS age 59
Married for 34 years
One child, 30yrs

Her 'A' 1994(?) through 1998
D-Day 7/4/2013 Yes, I didn't find out for almost 15 years... but the pain is just as bad as if she were with him last week.

Posts: 160 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Near Houston Texas
♂ 33901
Member # 33901
Default  Posted: 5:32 PM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

T&C - good to hear that your wife finally agreed to IC. I'd say that by itself this is a good sign.

Based on my experience, I would not read much into her reaction to the first session. She must have felt as a weight had been lifted from her chest and is just letting it all out.

Me BS 48 - Her WS 39 (at the time)
DDay 7/5/10 1/yr EA/PA
DS1 12 DS2 8

Posts: 138 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: ChiLand
OK now
♀ 14459
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ask her to write out all the affair details and give it to you just before the MC; then you will both be better prepared for the subsequent discussion.

I'm not surprised she is dreading MC. She has to suddenly relate all the messy sordid story and has no idea how you will take it. You might go ballistic and end the marriage, or break down in tears. The suspense must be killing her.

Posts: 2062 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad to hear she went.
Only time will tell if she is sad because she is overwhelmed by the pain she caused or becasue she is afraid of what will happen next now that you know.

((((and strength))))

Him: FWS
Kids: 18 & 20
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

Posts: 13419 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 4

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