I am 3 months into separation and so many things are becoming clear to me. Each day i feel a shift and clarity.
I feel like the fog has lifted, but only just. Its been 20 months since dday and a rough false R.
Couldnt do it with WH any longer. Was losing my mind so since our separation at my request and a recent move to a new residence my fog is behind me now.
Reality has hit and what i am feeling is very mixed. I do feel relief as my clarity validates to me that i wasnt going insane, that i put 200% into trying to make it work and that he has serious issues within himself and still is very much in his fog.
What i am now feeling is real now there is no more mind fuck games since stepping outside of the bullshit arena. What i am feeling most is grieving all that i had, wanted and had hoped for with WH while i clearly process how someone could be so cruel after 24 years.
You are probably going through a grieving stage that perhaps up until now you werent quite ready for.
Everyone is different with their acceptance and healing and we all know here that this process has no time limit.
This is healthy and with that being said clears the mind a little to begin loving yourself again and know that you can go and do whatever in life you choose to do with new found knowledge and strength.
The mind works in strange waysbto protect us. I find that it is slowly releasing things now for me to process that i hadnt thought about before or perhaps i had but am now seeing in a different light.
Moving through all of this again but it feeling different now with separation is called growth.......growth is good.
And "up" sounds good to me.
Much happiness and strength to you.
We WILL make it through and good things await.