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courageous posted 9/16/2013 18:52 PM

I just need to do some serious venting.

It all started today with a text message from my SIL. She had posted on Facebook on Friday that she is was so upset and crying but didn't want to answer any questions just needed prayers. Of course I'm freaking out wondering if something happened to my nephew or brother. I texted my brother to ask if everything was okay. I guess he was out of town because I didn't get a response.

Today I received this text message from SIL:

Please call or text or email me the next time you are concerned about one of my post. Due to your brother's response to me from you talking to him I now feel I can never ask for
Prayers again. I have no female friends, I have a male friend but can't spend time with him because he's a male but has a girlfriend that would be with us, I have none of my immediate family here, I have all of you but you are all busy in your own lives. Your brother was not here when I recd the new about my aunt and he is the only person I can release my feelings own. I was hurting, scared and alone. Now this text will make your brother even more angry with me but I needed u to know how I felt. Please call me next time if you have a question about me."

Note I never did talk to my brother i had justed texted but got no response. My SIL is a FWS. My SO says that it was my fault that I should never have contacted my brother. I should have respected my SIL and not contacted anyone but even though her post clearly said not to ask her any questions. I'm now kind of fighting with SO because instead of supporting me he is stuck on the fact that I was wrong and he was right and I should have just done what he told me to do.

Okay so then onto my next issue of the day.... I have been legally divorced for almost a year now. My incompetent, poop for brains, lawyer has yet to finish the transfer of exwh's 401k and getting a wage withholding. I received a copy of the wage withholding order from my lawyer today and he has my zipode incorrect and the order is pay to the order of my married name which has not been my LEGAL name for almost a year now. I have had issues with banks not accepting documents from me in my old name because it's not my legal name. My lawyer responded very patronizing to me how it doesn't matter what name it is in for the wage withholding or for the 401k. He never apologizes for his errors. I have to threaten not to pay him anymore for him to do his job. I currently owe $1000. I also had to threaten a complaint with the bar... Which by the way I have a ton of evidence for a legitimate complaint.

To wrap up my crappy day... I have to leave work AT 5 so I can make it to the two different child care locations to pick up my kids before they close. My two coworkers who are sisters decided they needed to leave at 5 to go get a car. One of them needed to have something shipped. She didn't get it done before she left... She came to me and told me to get it done before I left for the day as she was walking out the door. This would also include me having to drive to the nearby ups store to drop it off. She hadn't prepared the package or anything. She had plenty of time to do it all day. Instead she chose to chat with her sister most of the day while I worked my butt off doing everyone's job. Since the boss was out of the office there was no one keeping them on track.

I'm tired of being everyone's f-ing doormat!!

Clarrissa posted 9/16/2013 19:40 PM

Sorry you had such a crappy day.

As for the package, if it wasn't my job to make sure it was shipped, I'd have left it for her to do the next day. You had to pick up your kids. I think that trumps her dumping her work on you because she doesn't feel like doing it. Next time she tries this just tell her "That's not in my job description" if it isn't. I'm not going to do anything a supervisor does because that's not my job. They don't pay me to do it. You're paid to do *your* job, NOT yours AND hers (or anyone else's). If the sh*t hits the fan, you should be out of the splatter zone.

I had this problem at my first paying job. I was the one everyone came to if they didn't want to work their shift (it was in school, student switchboard operator) and I usually obliged. I got paid, they didn't, it gave me something to do and I enjoyed it. This went on until my roommate and I made plans to go into town. I asked *every* student operator to switch shifts. No one would. The next to last one had a lame-assed excuse for not switching so I told her to never ask me again. A few weeks later, she did. I said no, I'm busy. I wasn't but that's beside the point.

The next time this happens, say quite clearly and succinctly "That's not my job."

courageous posted 9/16/2013 20:33 PM

It's all of our jobs in the office to mail packages. Unfortunately I'm the low man on the totem pole so I get all the crap. I'm over worked and barely paid over minimum wage even though I have a degree (and use to make more than double what I make now). What pisses me off the most is that she waited basically until I was just about to walk the door and it wasn't something that could wait until the next day.

I hate my fucking life! I can't even take a bath or shower without the kids getting out of bed and misbehaving. I can't have a single moments privacy. Now I have my 3 year old laying in my room because she won't go to bed. I am at the end of my rope

ninebark posted 9/17/2013 11:20 AM

That is terrible, I would have told her that I would be happy to help but I already make arranagements to leave at 5 to pick up your children and unfortunately that does not leave you time to deal with the package, so it will have to wait until tomorrow. ANd in future if she needs a package delivered you need more notice than when they are walking out the door at the end of the day.

As far as the SIL. I would send her a note that you were concerned about her wellbeing but wanted to respect her wishes not to be questioned. It was that concern that made you call your brother, but you have yet to hear back from him. It was not your intent to cause any drama with her and your brother, you just wanted to be sure she was well. If she doesn't mind you contacting her when she posts not to contact her then you will do so in future.