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Newest Member: Duped12times (45727)

User Topic: I cried
July73
♂ 37426
Member # 37426
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was watching a movie the other night about a family that was on vacation and was separated by a Sunami.

I cried. I cried when the wife and one son thought their husband/father and 2 brothers were dead. I cried when the father told others he would not give up until he found his wife. I cried when he thought she was dead. I cried when I thought of what I would do in that situation. I cried for how hopeless I would feel. I cried when I thought of what I would do if she was gone. I cried when I said I would never give up and would not stop looking for her. I cried...

I cried when I realized that I am looking for her now, and how I will not stop until I find her. I cried when I thought maybe she is gone and she don't want to be found. I cried...

To describe love is hard, but it's that feeling of something big happening and you can't wait to tell 1 person, to think your last thought of at night and the first thought in the morning is of 1 person, hope she sleeps well, hope she slept well. Simple things like, that person you want share a new taste with like a fancy meal or even an ice cream, even sitting quietly not even talking and feeling comfortable, seeing her smile, seeing her worry about a meal she has prepared with such care and thought, a few examples. This is why I believe love is not just action, but feeling to. I believe you can show and feel love. I cried when I realized I was not showing love to the one person that deserved it, who showed me love by actions and feelings. So how was I able to allow myself to be that selfish and destroy her love.

All I was thinking when this was running through my head was, how could have I done this to someone I said I love so much. Why was I so uncaring to not even see what the A would do to her.

I was so selfish that all I was thinking about was me.
I cried....

I am so sorry for taking you for granted and destroying our love, for destroying the best person I have had the pleasure to know, I will keep looking for you.

[This message edited by July73 at 11:11 PM, September 16th (Monday)]


WH Me 41
BW 39
M 18 yrs.
LTA 1.5 yrs.
D-day Sept 21,2012. Worst day of my life... can not imagine how it must have been for my loving wife. I am so sorry.

Posts: 38 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Alberta,Canada
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:46 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like some really good, foundational sentiments came out of this.

It's really good that you are able to share this. I hope that you both find peace throughout your journey.


"Sometimes people are mean, and sometimes things will be hard. One of your jobs is to try and make sure that that never makes you mean and hard, too." Cord Jefferson's Mom

Posts: 18298 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Daddo
♂ 4504
Member # 4504
Default  Posted: 2:53 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read posts like yours, and I think, "there's hope."

Thank you for expressing remorse and pain so thoughtfully and honestly. This what BSes need to see, to read, to know. I don't know your story, but I know that this kind of honest repentance can help rekindle marriages left for dead. Good luck to you.


It's just so sad
But I'm moving on feeling better

Posts: 2519 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Cupertino, CA
July73
♂ 37426
Member # 37426
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, My only hope is that my wife see's that this is the true me, and that I will continue for as long as it takes. Sometimes these thoughts and feelings come out of nowhere and hit you like a ton of bricks.


WH Me 41
BW 39
M 18 yrs.
LTA 1.5 yrs.
D-day Sept 21,2012. Worst day of my life... can not imagine how it must have been for my loving wife. I am so sorry.

Posts: 38 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Alberta,Canada
rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh gosh, I cried at that movie as well!

what a great post!


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5498 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
July73
♂ 37426
Member # 37426
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Rachelc that was hard to write. True feelings can be tough to put to words


WH Me 41
BW 39
M 18 yrs.
LTA 1.5 yrs.
D-day Sept 21,2012. Worst day of my life... can not imagine how it must have been for my loving wife. I am so sorry.

Posts: 38 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Alberta,Canada
wwcrash
♀ 40843
Member # 40843
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, September 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beautifully said. Eloquent. Expresses the deep remorse that we WS's ** do** experience. It is overwhelming at times.

Posts: 11 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: SE US
Topic Posts: 7

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