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chipmunk41 posted 9/17/2013 11:21 AM

day 4...

My h is really trying to make it right again. So over the weekend he was helping around the house, taking care of stuff, spending time with the kids, even being in the same room with me.
And today he called me from work and left me a message,asking me how my day was going?
Not sure why but I feel overwhelmed by his sudden attention. Is it normal to feel like this? I know that he is trying but it's just too much...

Marathonwaseasy posted 9/17/2013 11:46 AM

Wow!
We are d day twins. And my DH is being incredible too. Mostly it's ok. I can handle the compliments

But then he said we should have another baby and that was way too much...

Jrazz posted 9/17/2013 12:06 PM

It's completely normal.

If R is what you want, be sure to communicate to him that you see the effort he is making, but have been mindf#$%ed so badly that you will not be able to receive it properly for quite some time.

Maybe don't put it that way, but, you know...

If he's worth it, he will be making the effort regardless of your response and will realize that this is a long-term-behavior-overhaul project, not a "But I gave you roses - why aren't you over it??" kind of thing.

I'm really glad he's trying.

chipmunk41 posted 9/17/2013 12:07 PM

I guess they feel remorse at this point...

Having another baby? oh jeez.. way too much.

kickboxer posted 9/18/2013 20:56 PM

We're about 10 weeks out now...the lovey dovey has definitely slowed down, but I see some changes that I'd like to believe are permanent.

He has expressed some dicouragement this week that I'm not "moving forward" fast enough. He feels I'm "stuck" and "dwelling". It was a convo that left me feeling drained, and unsure if reconciliation is really what he wants. It was fleeting in the scheme of things. He's been back to being very loving/thoughtful/kind in the days since.

Neither of us have dealt with this chaos before -- we're both finding moments of frustration and discouragement...and we're trying our best to work through it together.

This entire experience has taken such an emotional toll.

MJane posted 9/19/2013 07:22 AM

To make you laugh - and I posted this closer to my d-day (am 16 days now) - two days after the revelation from OW my H had oysters, roses and champagne (not sure what he thought we had to celebrate....not touched any of them....). I haven't been getting the compliments - I can see it is a double-edged sword - part of me longs for them as I know how many love notes he sent to OW (she was sure to gift me the package of mails, most of which I haven't and won't read). It has been years since he has told me why I am special to him and I know that after what has happened it would, in any event, be years before I believe any words from him telling me I am his "love"....I know my H is in the school of thought of rug-sweepers - he'd like to forget it all happened and actually said this was our chance for a "fresh start"...not exactly best of circumstances for that....his relief at finally "choosing" certainly isn't mine from just finding out what a cheat he is

sparklezombie posted 9/19/2013 18:02 PM

Same things here. Including saying he wants another baby.

It's awkward and hard. I don't know how I feel most of the time and I'm just angry a lot. We start with a new mc tomorrow. Maybe that will help

undonelife posted 9/19/2013 19:07 PM

I told my FWH I'd probably be a bitch for at least a year maybe longer Like if or not