Well, today Mr. Integrity is going to pick up the kids from school and give them "the talk" and tell them about his apartment. I don't know what he is going to say, probably something cowardly about grown ups making mistakes and sometimes they can't live together anymore.
I am fairly certain he won't take responsibilty, and he will end up making them think he made a little "mistake" that made mommy "mad" and now we can't be together. Ummm, isn't that convenient for him to give them the impression that poor daddy wants forgiveness and mean old mommy just won't give it? When the reality is he is the one that wants out of the marriage and he never tried to get me to reconcile after confessing his LTA and a shattering amount of betrayal, lies, deceipt and dishonesty....
He will probably bring them there and show them their bedroom, complete with stuffed animals, and nighties hanging in the closet.
I was totally freaked out when I saw it, thought I was going to throw up, but maybe they will feel better knowing where he lives and that there is a place for them there. I hope they don't flip out, but I also hope they don't really like it too much...
They will still love him, accept him and treat him really nicely to keep him in their lives. And he will perceive that as them being so "resilient" and "adaptable" "see, they are just fine." Their views of love, and marriage and trust of men, however, will have been altered forever. This has huge impact, but he is not willing to accept that.
I took my little one to the Dr. this am before school as she has all kinds of headaches, stomach aches, acid reflux, tired all the time, crys, can't sleep. She is internalizing all this, trying to understand, to cope.
My older one is angry with me, although she knows this is not my choice, she is still taking it out on me.
They already feel they can't be honest with him about their feelings, and they won't give him a hard time I am sure...because they are so afraid they will do something that will make him stop loving them too...
It is so sad. My little one put on her new dress that he bought her. She wants to impress him, wants to keep him loving her, even though with me she is crying and asking why daddy doesn't want to be with our family anymore, and why would he do this to us.
As they got out of the car to go to school, I reminded them that he was picking them up. I also said, you know, if you ever need to call me, or want to come home earlier, just call me, I am here. Because today might go poorly and I don't want them to be scared. The older one says to me (eyerolling and skoffing) "Mom, it is not about you, you know" as in "back off we are going out with Daddy and it is none of your business.
Well, that hurt a little, but I know she is just lashing out at the one she feels most comfortable with- me! He actually said to me that he thinks it will be better for him to have a relationship with the kids without me around, and that he will be a better parent and the kids will do better with us apart....
Hmmmm...what kid in the history of the universe thinks it is great to have their safe, happy, family unit BLOWN UP and split into two separate homes, where Daddy doesn't love Mommy and you can't understand why, and now you have two separate private parent relationships and the family you knew and loved is now GONE?? NO KID EVER WANTS THAT. They get used to it, yes, but they never like it.
Here I am, cleaning up the mess Mr. Integrity made and he gets to walk away scott free, taking no responsibility for how he was changed everyone's reality F**Ker!