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Newest Member: solstice (46049)

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SoOver96
♀ 40169
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would you make up a fake email and a fake name just to see what your WS would do?

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
SoOver96
♀ 40169
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wouldn't but I wanted to see what other BS would do I told my husband no more secrets no more lies I want total honesty because isn't that what marriage is all about? I'm not that sneaky to make up a email and fake name

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
Kelany
♀ 34755
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No. I thought about it earlier on after DDay, but I never went through with it. First, it was too far fetched, my husband never had e-mail contact with any of them, and only text contact with two of them. But even then, it just didn't feel right to me. I didn't feel that it was honest, and I was setting him up for failure.

Besides, I had/have access to everything anyway. He has proven to me through his actions that he is willing to be transparent. He came to me and told me when someone he didn't know (and he truly didn't) sent him a friend request on facebook. He was afraid that I'd see it and think he did it. He's told me when co-workers at work have had conversations with him that strayed from work to a bit personal (even though they weren't really all that personal, but in his mind, he wasn't comfortable and told me.) I'd have never known, but to him, HE knew, so he told me.

It just, for me, wouldn't be beneficial in my marriage to "set" my husband up to see if he'd take bait or not.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ 34716
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did it. Sent a fishing email about 2 months after Dday, no contact was supposed to have been established. Wife failed miserably, responded to the email and set up a time to talk, and then deleted the email. Sigh.

then when I asked her about it she denied denied denied. It wasn't until I actually told her that I created the account that she admitted it.

Of course then she accused me of entrapment. What a sneaky bastard I was...sigh. totally unfair to her. yadda yadda yadda.


I wouldn't but I wanted to see what other BS would do I told my husband no more secrets no more lies I want total honesty because isn't that what marriage is all about?

Sure that's what a marriage is all about, the problem is, the wayward isn't really playing by those rules.

[This message edited by wonderboy at 1:43 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)]


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1309 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
SoOver96
♀ 40169
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He called me and said can i ask you a serious question i said sure ws said are you sending me these damn emails i asked him what emails (i have 1 with my maidan name one that states how i was when shit hit the fan, one with my husbands name and wife behind it one from my iCloud account 3 with both our names on it and one with my first initial and half my maidan name with birthdate)I also have his email information cause he asked me to set it up on his phone so I knew about the emails because they'd pop up.. I was just waiting to see if he responded to the emails which he didn't 1 point for WS and then he said are you this person im not going to make up a fake name just to see if he slips up he does that to often without my help j/k hes done better in the past two days then he has done in a month but any way WS has been getting these emails from someone and he told me they asked if he likes woman He said he gets them and deletes them I'm not upset that he told me its kind of refreshing that he did tell me about them Point 2 for WS I'm upset about why he didn't tell me about them when he started getting them I asked him could someone of gotten your email from the two dating sites that he said popped up on his phone when he was looking at porn which I know is a lie. He's thing is I wanted to look at pictures whatever. he's got mags for that I don't have a problem with mags porn or pics it's the stepping out and touching and sex that drives me insane

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
Jennifer99
♀ 39551
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've thought about this.
I figure as bad as I am at lying and being sneaky it wouldn't work very well.

I'm just going to stick with being open, honest, and genuine me. If I feel like I MUST do this - we should just go our separate ways.

Not saying should I ever decide that I might do something ignorant as if I was the OW from his EA just to make him miserable.


Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
SoOver96
♀ 40169
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not sneaky either my WS can tell when I'm lieing so it's pointless To do and I would think it would take some effort to make all that crap up

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
Simple
♀ 18814
Member # 18814
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did stuff to be sneaky to hide how I find certain things and FWH didn't know I was doing them. He kind of realized I was at some point but when he became a truly remorseful WH, he pretty much tells me "bring it on" go find stuff just remember to watch the date in case you find old stuff...

Slowly from that point on, the verification started being more open and calm. Then at some point, no more need. We're in true R for sure and 5 years later, yes I still ask him who is this lady in FB and he will answer and even sometimes give proof as to who she really is. No getting mad, no "why are you doing this again". Just a straight answer with a "do you want me to unfriend her? I did ask if I could before and you said yes, that's the only reason why she's there".


Love is a choice.

True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.

Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.


Posts: 927 | Registered: Mar 2008
Dallas2
♀ 28362
Member # 28362
Default  Posted: 7:09 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I felt it was needed, yes. I guess to me it's the same as hiring a private detective, using a var or having the WS take a poly.

Fact is the WS has broken all the rules by having an A and as BS I would do just about anything to build some trust im my M.


Me

Posts: 828 | Registered: Apr 2010
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ 34716
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It does give them an opportunity to build trust. Besides, at around two months, I sure wanted to verify that the new promises were being kept, in light of her old promises to me being tossed aside.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1309 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Topic Posts: 10

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