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Divorce/Separation :
Tomorrow is the day

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 whatdoto (original poster member #28555) posted at 10:00 PM on Tuesday, September 17th, 2013

I will be divorced tomorrow. 2 months and 18 days since I filed.

I am sad that our M didn't last forever. We told each other in the early years we would grow old and die together in our house.

I told him before we got married (I was 37, he was 29) that I would give him children. I already have a DS that is 29. So I gave birth to DS15 3 weeks before our 1st anniversary. He is the best part of this M.

So, once again, I am a single mom. It's okay though, BTDT. I feel for DS, I so wanted this child to have a "forever family" bound by love, honesty and loyalty.

So my new beginnings will start tomorrow. I am buying a house with a pool and a nice large sunroom. My mom will move in with DS, me, my dog and granddog.

Dogs will have a much smaller yard though. They will go from 73 acres to a corner lot in a small subdivision.

The positives are DS will be closer to all his friends now.

I won't have to travel 15 miles to the grocery store.

I will have neighbors.

I can see my friends more often.

I get the camper and my best friend just bought a boat.

I won't have to deal with my inlaws and their "unit" mentality.

I don't have to mow 2-1/2 acres every weekend in the summer.

I don't have to do all the yard work because I'm hiring that out.

I could go on some more about how much happier I will be. But for now, I am just sad. 19 years, poof!

"If your ideal image of yourself is in the future, it's going to stay there".

posts: 1187   ·   registered: May. 18th, 2010   ·   location: Texas
id 6490698
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gypsybird87 ( member #39193) posted at 11:57 PM on Tuesday, September 17th, 2013

(((whatdoto)))

I'm so sorry. Of course you're sad. And that's okay. A 19 year relationship is significant, and it deserves to be grieved over.

You have so many positives to look forward to, from what you listed here to things you haven't even realized yet. I admire the courage in your post. Thanks for sharing it.

Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords

posts: 1857   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2013   ·   location: Oregon
id 6490876
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gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 12:00 AM on Wednesday, September 18th, 2013

Divorce is never wanted but necessary sometimes.

Enjoy your NB and making the new place your home.

Gma

[This message edited by gma56 at 6:01 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)]

BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

posts: 20502   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2008   ·   location: Closer to where I want to be..
id 6490879
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foxglove ( member #21791) posted at 12:23 AM on Wednesday, September 18th, 2013

This is a really big milestone in your life. Treat yourself gently. Do something extra nice for yourself.

(((whatdoto)))

Me (BS) 57
XH (WS)
Married 21 years
Divorced 2/19/07
Two grown sons
Remarried 9/18

posts: 1563   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2008   ·   location: Southeast Michigan
id 6490911
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