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and I've been throwing up all day, just thinking about it.

I need strength. And some anti-nausea meds.

I am attending a counseling appointment with him, so not seeing him alone ... but still, feeling so sick. I had been feeling better for days ... today, not so much.

Heavy sigh.

You will make it through this meeting.

You have nothing to be shamed of or embarrassed of.

You are not lacking in morals or compassion.

Now a 20 × 20 × infinity you will not give that asshole visitation with YOUR furbabies.

I am not going to even bring up my furkids at all. If he does, I will play the "you know how you said you would do anything to help me heal? Well, I need you to leave us be, and stop asking me to see them."

His pathological deception is so mind-numbing, I feel downright afraid of him. Well beyond just a lack of trust at this point. He risked my life (HIV, things like that), and he risked us all by exposing us to the possibility of some lunatic (aka, jealous husband of one of his Ashley Madison hook ups) tracking him down and enacting violent revenge. That may sound far fetched, but I feel strongly about his disregard for all of us in that process.

I don't want him to come anywhere near us.

Keep all of that in mind as well as what ever comes out of his mouth is a lie.

Nothing has changed, he hasn't changed anything about himself, its still all about him and what he can pull over you and steal from you.

Time to put that wooded stake into your emotional vampire stbx black heart.