SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

hopeandchange posted 9/17/2013 19:07 PM

I am divorcing. It has been a rough four years. During her A and the two years post DDay.

When I discovered her infidelity, she lied. Told me it was brief and over. I wanted to work on reconcilliation and continued to try and make sense of it all. As I came closer to the truth, she confessed, ended the A, and became completely transparent with her passwords. I tried to R.

Looking back, she was only briefly committed to R. This was after I told her I was done.

The divorce will wipe out a lifetime of savings and opportunities to travel and splurge on ourselves. I will lose my companion, best friend, confidant and lover.

She has agreed to set aside enough of our savings to send our kids to the university of thheir choice. She will enough from the divorce settlement to pay cash for a modest home in our area. I will continue to pay for all of our kids expenses plus child support.

I am glad that I am able to financially provide for our kids so that they can pursue their dreams. And I am proud that my labor has not only provided for my WW during our marriage but will put her in a position to live comfortably after our divorce.

I gave my best during our M and tried my best to R. dday2 through me into a deep depression for 18 months and I am so glad that I survived.

I have no regrets. I tried my best to treat my W as one should when you commit your life to them through marriage. I am glad that I have been able to provide for my family. And I am glad that I gave my best in trying to R even though it failed. I have no regrets.

Be safe! Be happy! Be healthy! Live with ease!

h&c

tammyjean100 posted 9/17/2013 20:09 PM

You have it right.

No regrets.

Each of us writes our own story, and moves on, no matter what comes our way.

And it is certainly possible to find love. Real love and caring.

Onward!

Peace.

TJ

Thefly559 posted 9/17/2013 21:40 PM

I am glad you feel like that , not me I have too much anger still . But it is nice to hear someone feels good during divorce if that is the truth. All the best

hopeandchange posted 9/17/2013 22:00 PM

I did not say that I feel good (divorcing). There are few words, if any, that can adequately describe the misery of infidelity and divorce

I just have no regrets for staying post day and trying to R. I I have no regrets as to how I have lived my life and the choices I have made

h&c

SBB posted 9/18/2013 04:04 AM

Love this. It feels so - strong, empowered. The opposite of what of most of us feel at the beginning of this hot mess.

I have no regrets about ending that relationship. I'm still working on NOT regretting having children with him.

Kajem posted 9/18/2013 04:54 AM

I read your post and I had to think about whether I had regrets.

My marriage-like you I don't have regrets. I did the best I could do with the information I had at the time.

However, my relationship with XSO? Is a whole 'nother issue.

Live and learn and grow.

Thanks for getting me thinking.

K

laney57 posted 9/18/2013 06:35 AM

HC,
Here is to your new beginning!