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Niece in law

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sunsetslost posted 9/17/2013 20:15 PM

I ran into my STBX Brother in Law today at a gas station. He doesn't like me. They stayed at our house for more than sixteen months a couple years back. Mom, dad, and my precious little niece. We became best friends (the then 4 year old). We would play and laugh and tickle and cuddle. I love her so much.

When in law pulled into the gas station I saw him, smiled and waved but I intentionally stared at the gas pump. I wanted to let him make the first move. I didn't know my niece was even in the car. I noticed some movement out of the corner of my eye. He brought my Princess over to say hi. He approached, then nudged her, saying "look who it is.." She glanced at me, a shy wave. Then it struck her who I was. "JOJO!" she screamed and leapt into my arms. We talked for a few minutes, maybe ten. She told me all about kindergarten. Her new role as a big sister (in a couple weeks). How she missed me. Hasn't seen me in sooooo long. Bro in law was cordial, even pleasant. He didn't have to do that. I'll never be able to thank him enough.

I called him a month ago and asked to see his daughter once more before I leave town. When the house sells. I asked his permission to be a pen pal for as long as she wants. It will help with her writing, her reading and learning. I can stay part of her life in a small way.

When they went into the store and I got into the car I cried as hard as I did on d day. I'm crying writing this. I am going to miss that little princess so much. I'll most likely never see her again once I leave town.

I was so filled with rage at STBX WW for taking her away from me. From taking me away from her. I wanted to lash out so badly at STBX. I resisted. She's used the Princess to try to manipulate me in this process. I am better than her. I won't stoop to that. Don't need to.

I will miss my Princess.

Sad in AZ posted 9/17/2013 20:41 PM

Your post just broke my heart. I hope something can be worked out.

sunsetslost posted 9/17/2013 21:25 PM

There are so many lilies reminders as I pack up and clean up the house. A Cheerios deposit between the couch cushions. A plastic animal. STBX can F right off. I will miss my Princess so much. F her for taking this away.

It reinforces how much I want to be a part of a child's life. Step, adopted,natural, whatever. Something impossible with STBX.

h0peless posted 9/17/2013 21:42 PM

The ramifications of this is so far reaching. I'm so sorry you're having this experience.

jo2love posted 9/17/2013 21:45 PM

(((sunsetslost)))

sunsetslost posted 9/17/2013 22:30 PM

When my princess lived here she would come down the stairs. Timid. Exploring. She figured out the baby gate. She would watch us/me sleep. She would come sleep between us I told her "daddy and mommy will be mad at you for coming down here if you aren't supposed to". She always knew. She said " I know". Then curled up with me. Or I fed her breakfast and apologized for her. I've never felt closer to a person in my life. She's 5 years old. Almost 6. This hurts so much. I want to take her to Dinney World. I want to show her the ocean. I can let STBX go but I'm so sad about my princess

dmari posted 9/18/2013 02:02 AM

h0peless said it perfectly, "The ramifications of this is so far reaching." I am partly glad that you were able to see her but of course, it makes saying good-bye a billion times worse. She has been blessed by the moments you spent with her and vice versa.

I am very close to my 40 year old cousin who has Down Syndrome and it broke my heart to tell her that stbx and I were going to get a divorced. She just couldn't understand. Prayed and prayed and prayed for him. He was her favorite. STBX and I were supposed to be in her life for the rest of our lives. In a way I was thankful for her intellectual limitations because a month later she was asking me for a new cousin (for me to marry) and what happen to her Snoopy!

Sorry ... I just wanted to share that I understand a little of how you were feeling. Your niece was very fortunate to have had you in her life. I think it was wonderful you had a little time with her today.

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