Me: BGF (49)
My WBF is trying to do what's needed to make this a true R. The issue he's facing now is how to handle his best friend.
His bf hasn't done anything wrong. My WBF has. I recently found out years ago (we didn't know each other then) my WBF was with a woman who started a PA with another woman. My WBF wanted to be part of it, and it led to some physical contact between him and this OW.
Skip ahead a few months, and the OW went on to meet, date, then marry my WBF's best friend. Neither my WBF or this woman told the bf what had taken place between the two of them. They just figured it was in the past, and she wasn't with her husband at the time.
I met this couple last year, when they were in town for the holidays. They stayed in my home, I even gave up our room for them. I NEVER knew of the past between this woman and my WBF. She's in school, learning to be a massage therapist and my WBF and her mentioned a few times about how she owed him a massage. She has sent texts over the past two years, checking in on him...and he's done the same. For the most part, I always saw these texts. But I was under the impression she was like a sister to him.
Not anymore! Not when I know he wanted to sleep with her, and was physical with her. In fact, when I discovered the truth, it puts a far different light on everything.
I see him as keeping this dirty little secret from me and his bf, and getting his thrills from her in other ways. And I see her as a whore who had no issues messing around with a taken woman, years ago, and also now getting her ego stroked whenever she talks to my WBF.
So after this discovery two months ago, my WBF has ignored any contact from her (only once or twice so far) and he removed her from FB. His best friend still doesn't know about this past, and my WBF still talks to him on the phone and texts weekly. They live out of state, so it's not likely we'd see them.
I think this is an issue that needs to be addressed with the friend. My WBF just wants to ignore it and her. The problem is they will eventually be back for a visit, and under no circumstance do I feel comfortable with my WBF seeing this woman. Not now. Not ever. So it's not going to go away.
Can anyone please suggest what you'd do in this situation??? Should my WBF explain this to his bf, possibly causing issues in his marriage? Or should he send a text to the wife and tell her she has a week to discuss it with him, and then he will bring it up after she's had the chance. Or should he sit back and wait till he has a reason to say he can't see them and then explain?
I'm so damn pissed at this whole thing. The two of them make me sick and I'm still not exactly sure where I stand regarding him. It's just so twisted. And I feel like a total fool. Even though his thing with her was before me, why does it feel like the two of them have been messing around right under our noses...under the guise that they are like siblings now?? Even if no actual cheating occurred, it still feels to me like they played us. Damn it!!!!
Him: WBF (nogoodap1), cheater and SA
Together for 4 years.
Too many DDs to list, the last one 28 June 2016
Status: He chose his addiction, I chose to break up
*** Sex addiction is very real. I finally saw it first hand***