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Just Found Out :
Severe pit stomach

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 Hope2B (original poster member #40474) posted at 3:48 AM on Wednesday, September 18th, 2013

Happy Hank the WS is supposedly taking some time to reflect--I mentioned it might be a good idea for him to do this, without distractions. He wanted to stay at a buddy's place (buddy is out of town) but I said how can you reflect with a great view of the lake, the mountains, hiking paths, and a picture-in-picture huge screen TV ?

Instead, Happy Hank got a hotel room for 3 nights & 4 days.

I told him I put a locator on his cell, and that I'd be stopping by the hotel once or twice daily, and if I found him with anyone, he might want to call the po-po (because I'd rip him a new one).

His phone is too old for a locator, but he doesn't know that.

He asked what if he's at the movies or something, when I stop by...

Really? REALLY? THIS is how you reflect and be introspective about us? Thinking of this as a mini va-cay? Going to the movies?

So now I have time to go through the trash in his room. Lots of receipts for cash withdrawals for the past couple of months. Not sure if that's a normal amount or not because we keep separate accounts. I'll have to get access to his online info at the bank and check back a few months or years.

Then, I go into the Man Cave and look around and find, on the back of a piece of paper, a note he wrote that says "Fred's b'day, 4-5 yrs" and the city.

He told me, AND he told our pastor, that he met the skanky prostitute at a birthday party at Fred's house 6 or 7 years ago and that's how the A started.

I guess Happy Hank is taking notes so he can remember what lie he told me, or else he totally made up The Fictitious Fred.

So yeah, the A was only 8 months long, other deets that she only did a handjob and bj on him, & they met in a bar for a billiards league (she was supposedly the girlfriend of a rival team member), then the Trickle Truth came out and the A was over 7 years long, he (supposedly) met her at this Fred's house, she had nothing to do with bars or billiards, and they did genital penetrative sex, cunnilingus, etc.

I have severe pit stomach.

[This message edited by Hope2B at 9:49 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)]

DDay: Feb. 25, 2013Trickle Truth/DDays: Sept 10, 11, 13, 15 (2013)

posts: 807   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2013   ·   location: U.S.A. (The Middle)
id 6491174
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isadora ( member #29130) posted at 11:05 AM on Wednesday, September 18th, 2013

((Hope2B))

What are you doing to be kind to yourself during this separation to reflect?

Have you read up on the 180? It might help you detach a little

Me: BW Him: who cares
Divorced: 4/2015
2 DDs and 2DSs
Who knows how many affairs at this point
Multiple D-Days

I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.

posts: 4736   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2010   ·   location: Back home again in Indiana
id 6491366
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Raven96 ( member #40298) posted at 12:38 PM on Wednesday, September 18th, 2013

I've been following your story. I am so sorry he is being such an a$s. You deserve better, but I get where you're coming from...you're protecting your assets, your home, and still you love him. UGH! Wouldn't it be nice to be able to just turn off our feelings?!

I agree with Isadora...do something for YOU while he's gone. Some pampering, a movie, maybe get a 3rd legal opinion???

Sending HUGS and good thoughts your way!!!

Sen

Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

posts: 379   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 6491411
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jjct ( member #17484) posted at 1:17 PM on Wednesday, September 18th, 2013

You don't "turn off" your feelings - what you do is "turn in" to yourself.

When you live inside yourself, your dependence on external validation decreases to the point where your tolerance for fuckery vanishes.

Don't

Even

Think

About

Changing

Him

posts: 7269   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2007   ·   location: texas
id 6491434
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