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eternallove (original poster new member #40610) posted at 4:42 AM on Wednesday, September 18th, 2013
Is there any test out there in the world that i could take to proove to my BBF that i did not have sex with the OM? I have been searching and found nothing but i figured id make one last effort to find something maybe someone here would know. I have looked into poly and dont really want to go that route- to much room for error in such an important matter.
SurprisinglyOkay ( member #36684) posted at 1:09 PM on Wednesday, September 18th, 2013
Can't think of anything but a poly.
FWS me 38 (recovering addict)
BS him 41 AFrayedKnot
Together 10 years
2 children
"Your secrets keep you sick"
20WrongsVs1 ( member #39000) posted at 1:34 PM on Wednesday, September 18th, 2013
You know there isn''t any such test. But, does it really matter?
Being your BF isn''t a life sentence he''s locked into, so he can choose to believe you...or not...and stay with you, or not.
Has BBF asked you to take a poly? If so, do it. Have BBF write up a series of yes/no questions and go. Too much room for error? Really? Or, is there something you''re still holding back?
[This message edited by 20WrongsVs1 at 7:34 AM, September 18th, 2013 (Wednesday)]
fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
Former motto: "Fake it till ya make it." Now: "You can't win if you don't play."
noglamour ( member #40380) posted at 2:07 PM on Wednesday, September 18th, 2013
I met someone off the internet in 2006 and I met her at her apartment. Nothing physical happened, I didn't even touch her.
I was there for 30-45 mins and left.
We chatted online and talked about sexual preferences.
For my BS, it doesn't matter. The intent and betrayal is there.
Me: WS 41
Her: BS 39
9 year old
Married 10 years
DDay 7/29/13
DDay 2 1/8/15
D 11/17/2015
eternallove (original poster new member #40610) posted at 12:42 AM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013
Thanks for the advice. Really the whole poly thing is not that im hilding anything back its that neither of us truly beleive in thier accuracy. He has not asked me to take one. I looked into just doing it on my own but through research i just continued to find flaws in the results time after time. Im not comfortable puttig my relationship on the line for something thats not 100% accurate because i know what the result would be- if i passed the poly he would say that i just cheated the test and i failed that would be that. So thys why im not really a huge fan of poly. What are some other ways i can cotinue to reassure him that this did not happen?
leftoolate ( member #22658) posted at 4:13 PM on Friday, September 20th, 2013
We never found it. I'm sorry to say I didn't come clean on my own, and my husband's last discovery came weeks after the first. I had had opportunity for intercourse with the other man, but didn't do that. Of course, the kissing and oral are bad enough, but the lies were even worse. So, my husband has waited a long time for the other shoe to drop, waiting to find that I lied even more and did have intercourse. Polygraphs are not our choice either.
Even aside from availability (Europe) and reliability - the results of a poly don't alter or lessen the basic problem of lies and betrayal.
Over time, his apprehension and suspicion lessened. The changes I made, getting to know myself, taking on life? He saw those. I think it helped.
~L.
edited for clarity
[This message edited by leftoolate at 1:23 AM, September 21st (Saturday)]
If you came this far, you're looking for something. - Jrazz
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