Maybe that was what I've been looking for. Either WH will wake up, or he won't, but it'll help me, right?
It turns out I was almost doing it, but there some important things I'd got wrong:
Getting emotional on him when he triggered me
Trying to find out what he is up to
I did listen to what he was saying...but then I tried to put my side and all he heard was criticism.
Let's see if I can do it. The hardest bit will not be getting emotional when I feel hurt. That never used to be a problem, but now I've put my walls down and am getting used to actually feeling...well it's hard to switch it off.
So my keys words to keep hold of, my mantra will be:
Happy, Confident, Capable, Moving on
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' - Unremorseful passive aggressive blameshifter. Many EA's & at least 1 PA. Dday Aug 2012. He walked out April 2013, wanting D, now stalling
Took a while, but I like the me I am, without him