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Apparently my mom is still snooping on ex!

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hurtbs posted 9/18/2013 14:46 PM

I have absolute NC with my exH for more than a year. I still hear things through the grapevine but I don't actively seek information. More recently I heard that he and OW2 (crankwhore) broke off their engagement and that he got fired again. He moved to a new state, the state where I was born. In fact, he is living in the incredibly small town I was born in (I mean like 5,000 people small!).

I mentioned it to my brother a few weeks ago and I guess he shared with my mom. I spoke to her last night (just catching up) and she told me that she is still friends with him on FB and has been creeping on him and that his new girlfriend is super ugly. I know this new GF, she is a goth girl that is an old student of his. Not at all surprised they are romantically involved (they probably were before - in fact, if I found out she was another OW I wouldn't be surprised). I just told her "Well mom, he can date whomever he wants. We're not married. You don't need to keep tabs on him." I suggested that she unfriend him and I changed the subject.

I'm just shocked that Mom is keeping tabs on him. Hopefully she'll take my advice, otherwise I'll have to put up a boudnary with her about ex-husband with me. Like I have told other friends who regularly felt the need to update me, "I appreciate that you are concerned for me, but ex and I are no longer married and his actions are no longer my concern. I would appreciate you not discussing this with me."

FirstLoveGone posted 9/18/2013 17:35 PM

My mom does the same thing. She snoops on wifetress as well. I have told her numerous times I do not want to know anything about either one of them.

I have had to be pretty firm with her because she wasn't respecting my boundaries. She is slowly starting to come around.

[This message edited by FirstLoveGone at 5:35 PM, September 18th (Wednesday)]

hurtbs posted 9/18/2013 20:25 PM

@First - This is the first time she has brought it up in a while... almost a year, so I'm hoping it doesn't need to go there. But I'm prepared if it does.

So sorry that you rmother doesn't respect your boundaries. It can be really painful when people want to keep picking at your scabs.

FirstLoveGone posted 9/18/2013 21:20 PM

That was a great way of putting it hurtbs - picking a scab.

My mom thought I would really want to know about the two of them. I had to be quite forceful when I told her that I absolutely did not want to hear about them. In the past, I would just ignore her, but then I finally had to put my foot down.

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