SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

[Register]

Newest Member: FeelingAwful (46984)

User

Topic: If you won the lottery would you stay?

RightTrack
♀ 36976
Member # 36976

Posted: 12:31 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

I've got two bucks in on Powerball and I was thinking this tonight. What if I win the megamillions??? It would suddenly be so easy to divorce. Those things that kept me from divorce in the first place ( the need to pay off the credit card, fix the house up for sale, keep the kids in private school) wouldn't be an issue anymore.

I think I'd like to stay, maybe it would be easier to stay, knowing you could leave and be independent any time you wanted.

Posts: 744 | Registered: Sep 2012

PinkJeepLady
♀ 37575
Member # 37575

Posted: 2:18 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

I love this question, I think about it all the time! I think I would do things differently maybe? What would we do if money was not a concern?
One thing I would certainly do is donate a big chunk of change to SI as well as my favorite charities. I would maybe spring for a live in MC?! But I think the final decision to go or stay would not involve $ or no $.
I am wishing you good luck with the powerball!

Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012 cheating with prostitutes overseas
R-ing
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein

Posts: 516 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West

OldCow18
♀ 39670
Member # 39670

Posted: 7:49 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

If we won the lottery I would definitely do a trial separation. We need to be away from eachother. We don't communicate well. I would like to hope we could work on things and reunite at some point, but right now it's so toxic in our home, but we can't afford for one of us to leave. He left for 4 days last week and it was the most peaceful time I've had in over 3 months. We can't keep paying a motel though.

Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013

rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314

Posted: 7:50 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

actually, I think someone did a study and most people - including those not influenced by infidelity - would leave their marriage.
can't remember where I read that though.
Sad.

his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Take action to change what needs changing. Take action to respond to your situation. Let the discouragement take ca

Posts: 6394 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest

Kelany
♀ 34755
Member # 34755

Posted: 8:09 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

I would stay. We both love each other very much, we are both working hard to rebuild our marriage. Money is not a reason for me staying in our marriage.

BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012

lieshurt
♀ 14003
Member # 14003

Posted: 8:15 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

I don't believe winning the lotto would make a difference. We have plenty of members who a financially well off and they haven't gone anywhere. In my opinion, if somebody wants to leave, they will...no matter what their circumstances may be.

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.

Posts: 14012 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston

Skye
325
Member # 325

Posted: 8:46 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

For a year or two, but then I'd leave. We have a bit of family emotional turmoil going on and I wouldn't want to add to it. Money can't stop people's emotions.

[This message edited by Skye at 8:47 AM, September 19th (Thursday)]

Posts: 5640 | Registered: Jul 2002

Ostrich80
34827
Member # 34827

Posted: 8:56 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

Omgosh I would SO put this M out of its misery. I have fantasized so many times how it would go down. I would call a moving truck and send his shit to an apt that I rented, then drive to his work and toss him his new keys. Oh yes, this is my biggest hurdle , $$$$. Dammit now I'm wanting to go by lotto tickets!!

BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5347 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest

mixedintherut
♀ 40330
Member # 40330

Posted: 9:05 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

I would hire the best lawyer and file for divorce. If filing didn't wake his ass up, I am afraid nothing will. WH is still very much so talking to his AP, and at this point, as a stay at home mom, money is a big factor.

DD 1: PA 12/4/09 He spent 2.5 years with OW1
R: 8/31/2012
DD 2: EA 8/16/13
BS: 26
WH: 25
1 young daughter.
Terribly disgusted. He refuses to give up his "friend". Headed towards D.

Posts: 138 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: kentucky

BelleStar
♀ 13515
Member # 13515

Posted: 9:08 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

I would be sooo gone in a NY minute! I want out so bad I can taste it.

Posts: 1130 | Registered: Feb 2007

Gr8Lady
♀ 36307
Member # 36307

Posted: 9:14 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

Ahhhh. The lottery fantasy. Yes we all have that. Jokingly I am waving from the deck of a cruise ship. Reality though if it really happen, would carry immense responsibility to do the right thing for my family. Community too, I wouldn't want my spouse to only be interested in me for the money so that would be complicated. I have to have trust first money or no money.
Maybe the cruise ship and a wave. Bye bye. Lol

BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 636 | Registered: Jul 2012

FightingBack
♀ 34770
Member # 34770

Posted: 9:20 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

It is so funny that so many of us consider this.

That would be me, standing next to Gr8lLady on the deck of the cruise ship!!

Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 891 | Registered: Feb 2012

imagoodwitch
♀ 23375
Member # 23375

Posted: 9:23 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

No, I would give him half and say goodbye.

'Cause that's how I roll.

I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

Posts: 5665 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland

TattoodChinaDoll
♀ 34602
Member # 34602

Posted: 9:24 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

Honestly, I would think about leaving only out of fear. Fear that after all that he did to me for so long, that it would be an easy fix to the worry that he'd do it again. But even though it would be a passing thought, no. I would stay. Because I want to stay. I've always wanted to stay. I've always wanted us. And we are finally getting back to us. I love him with all my heart. I just hate his actions and what they did to me. Though that doesn't mean I'm not pissed the fudge off at him sometimes!

Me (BW): 32
WH: 34 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 17 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

Posts: 1759 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey

RyeBread
♂ 37437
Member # 37437

Posted: 9:28 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

No, I would give him half and say goodbye.
'Cause that's how I roll.

Ditto!

Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest

rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314

Posted: 9:36 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

I would stay...for the same reason I would go to work the next day. I have to see things through and my work isn't done yet.

his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Take action to change what needs changing. Take action to respond to your situation. Let the discouragement take ca

Posts: 6394 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest

TrulySad
♀ 39652
Member # 39652

Posted: 1:06 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

I'd protect the money. But I'd stay, no question about it.

I didn't fall in love with him because of money. If we are going to make it, it's going to be because of hard work and love. If we separate, it will be because its what's best.

Rich or poor...

Me: Sad, but I will survive

True Love: What I have for my beautiful children.

Posts: 567 | Registered: Jun 2013

Rebreather
♀ 30817
Member # 30817

Posted: 1:28 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

I'd totally stay together. He'd quit that seconds, I'd work awhile longer and then we'd just play, play, play.

Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6831 | Registered: Jan 2011

StillLivin
♀ 40229
Member # 40229

Posted: 1:53 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

I would only leave faster and debt free!

I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2788 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ

WoundedOpus
♀ 39521
Member # 39521

Posted: 2:42 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013

It wouldn't change our outcome, we need to divorce, but it would make it so much simpler! I'd hand him his half, wait out our required year, and then we'd go our separate ways.

Me: BW 37
Him: WH 38
(DDay: 2/2008)
13 years, 5 kids...Seven years of Limbo

“I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well." ~ Diane Ackerman

Posts: 178 | Registered: Jun 2013

Topic Posts: 76

Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4

Return to Forum

This Topic is Archived