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Dear OW, this is what I learned

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 womaninflux (original poster member #39667) posted at 2:31 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2013

Here's I have realized about this. It may have been exciting (in the beginning) for my SAWH to carry on a secret life for 2 years with a woman a decade younger than him, but in the end, you aren't worth the money it would cost to get a divorce (it would cost him a lot, put it that way...I mean he's not Warren Buffet, but you still aren't worth it). So take that, Idiot (insert choice words here) OW! Your stomach might still be intact because you haven't had two children, you may have a hot body at this point, but the votes are in and you just aren't worth as much as you think you are! To anyone! It must be nice to be almost 31 and still single and have wasted a few years luring a married man into leaving his family. Here's a hint! If you are dating married men, that's a red flag that you aren't as hot as you think you are. You probably need to be told this...you don't seem to be too bright. You might have been able to thus far fool everyone at your "real job" (that I don't know how you got because you do not have the resume for it!!!! You are basically a smaller time version of a certain pro golfer's mistress/VIP room in a night club hostess - which is really a legal version of a prostitute AND pimp - before you entered the corporate world). But sooner or later your true intentions and character will be revealed. My hunch is that since you work in a male dominated company that seems to make hiring decisions based on how much the women employees look like former strippers or porn stars vs. their actual qualifications (or maybe that IS a qualification for your job - - I don't know because I have never been hired based on anything but my skillset and formal education - which you don't have either ), they are thinking you are pretty expendable and don't have much long term loyalty to you.

So, no matter what happens to me and my marriage (no matter what I decide, that is...because I have also figured out that I have the power to greenlight the R if that is what I want), I am certain I will be JUST fine. You on the other hand...don't have a very good track record.

[This message edited by womaninflux at 8:45 AM, September 19th (Thursday)]

BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"

posts: 932   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2013
id 6492950
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LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 12:56 AM on Friday, September 20th, 2013

((womaninflux))

Excellent vent. Very well said!

posts: 31109   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 6493911
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 1:28 AM on Friday, September 20th, 2013

OK, now I need the clapping hands guy! In triplicate!!

Me-BS-71 in May HIM-SAFWH-74 I just wanted a normal life.Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 6493963
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confusedsad ( new member #39298) posted at 2:06 AM on Friday, September 20th, 2013

Great letter!!!!

Me- Betrayed - married 18 years
Him- 2 week affair with someone at work
lots of kids
Trying to R

posts: 36   ·   registered: May. 18th, 2013
id 6494007
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mchercheur ( member #37735) posted at 2:16 AM on Friday, September 20th, 2013

sooner or later your true intentions and character will be revealed

This is for sure. This will happen because it is an obvious thing.

Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 35 years/Together 36 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2687   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 6494024
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SoOver96 ( member #40169) posted at 3:16 AM on Friday, September 20th, 2013

Hugs to you and also I applaud you great letter hoping your WS gets his head straight and realize what he's got home because the grass is not greener on the other side

posts: 171   ·   registered: Aug. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 6494084
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 womaninflux (original poster member #39667) posted at 4:00 AM on Friday, September 20th, 2013

thanks for your support! It means a lot! Your comments made my week.

BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"

posts: 932   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2013
id 6494125
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inmisery1 ( member #30905) posted at 5:39 AM on Friday, September 20th, 2013

Love it!

posts: 341   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2011
id 6494181
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Traveler1985 ( new member #40409) posted at 1:31 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

This had me laughing... I'm far enough away from the initial shell-shock that I can see the humor in it. I love the part about if she is dating married men, that's a red flag that she isn't as hot as she thinks hahah... I second that!

I am one who personally sent a letter to the OW and let me just tell you, you really kept your composure. I called the OW things I would never say to anyone ( and never had before), but its definitely a special kind of rage that comes out when someone tries to destroy your life and then pathetically continues to call and call the WH even though he has made it clear to stay away. She got 2 EXTREMELY harsh letters from me ( the second one was necessitated by her insistence on continuing to try to contact him, even though he started just leaving his phone with me).

All I can say is KARMA

It all comes back around to them... It might not be as immediately satisfying as directly causing the OW equal amounts of pain, but she will pay for it in one way or another.

Sending hugs to you!

BS ( Me)- 28
WH -26

D-Day May 1 2013
D-Day#2 Aug. 7th 2013
in R and working at it

posts: 16   ·   registered: Aug. 24th, 2013   ·   location: NAmer/SAmer
id 6495412
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5674emt ( member #40012) posted at 2:48 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Well presented.

Today I had a similar revelation. The H of the OW invited my fWH to do his wife so he could watch.

In the end I get a revised H who is now loving, protective and faithful and OW still has Nasty Man.

BS 53
WH 44
M 14 years at time of DD
2 young daughters
DD 12-8-12
OW=Xfriend
A-3 YEARS and her husband was an accomplice.
In R, IC, & MC Since 1 week after DD. On the mend with the help of God, Friends and Family.

posts: 93   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2013   ·   location: Central FL
id 6495465
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