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I pissed, and I can't really do anything but complain here.

A female family friend(on STBXH side)who is no longer someone I consider a friend, txt'd my DS16 a photo of him and her daughter when they were very small. How she hopes to see him soon.

This woman was married to a man (best man at my wedding) who is now in jail for hundreds of years for having sex with a 9-12 year old girl. Same girl, he bought her a phone, would have her sneak out of her house etc. VERY BAD. After this went down she had the nerve to sit across from me and say she could see him doing something to a teenage girl, but not a child! He would even let his daughter have the girl over then they would "sleep" in the camper. So I don't believe she has any idea what is right or how to stand up for your children or other children.

My DS16 has a level head on his shoulders.

And I am pissed because there are certain people that I have removed from my friend list. These were/are people that were not friends of the marriage. I have not explained to DS16 why I no longer see them. But STBXH still does.

Should I at some time tell him the things I know about how these people are and how they helped his father tear our family apart? I worry it just sounds like a spurned woman ya know?

I don't know your son personally, but generally I believe that a 16 year old is old enough to "get it" and old enough to hear the reasons why you no longer are friends with this person.

Given her history, and her EXH history, there is NO WAY that this GROWN ASS WOMAN should be texting ANY teenage boys, EVER! I'd put a stop to this whole thing, and quick.

The word "inappropriate" has become popular around our household.

A 16 yo is old enough to understand that some things are just inappropriate, but they don't really need all of the details. Tell your DS that it is 'inappropriate' for this woman to be texting him. Explain that you have cut this person out of your life for a good reason, and she is using him to get in the back door. Your DS may respect your judgement, or he may rebel. You know him best.

Luckily, my DD has just accepted that her father acted 'inappropriatly' with other people, and she hasn't pushed for details. In my case it's probably because she loves her Dad, and knows the details will hurt her. You may have to get more specific with your DS. Good Luck.