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Newest Member: Howtotrust (61551)

User Topic: WH reading my messages from OW
♀ 39906
Member # 39906
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OW still works for us. (I started working in the business about 5 mths ago when I first suspected an EA which ended then) The only see each other one night a week now and I'm there with them also. They both avoid each other. Almost all communication is through me, with exception of certain issues but even then, all of his messages come to my iPad so I can read them. I text back and forth with the OW (she's the GM) about employee issues almost daily. I always keep my husband updated daily about any work problems, decisions, problems that we discuss. Last night I was checking his phone (he doesn't mind) and I see him pick up mine, no big deal. I walked by him on my way to the laundry room and he quickly set it down. Later, I pick up my phone and hit messages and it goes right to the OW messages. Which means that's what he was looking at last. For some reason this bothers me and ruins my whole night. I mention that I noticed he was looking at OW's messages and was that the only reason he checked my phone and he said no, I read messages from son's girlfriend too. Think he was just curious and I'm making too much out of nothing? Or do you think he's worried that we are talking about him? Either way, we need to find a way to get rid of her.

Posts: 1825 | Registered: Jul 2013
Deeply Scared
♀ 2
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I think until the OW is out of your workplace there will be tension and resentment carried over.

What your H did wasn't that bad...but I think the underlining issue is she's still there and you have to deal with her on a daily basis.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

Posts: 210060 | Registered: May 2002
♀ 39197
Member # 39197
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are you in an *at will* state? If so, I would fire her and move on.

Story in my profile
He lied, I gave the gift of R
He became the model remorseful WS...all while lying and seeing her
Am I done? Yes I am!

Posts: 347 | Registered: May 2013
♀ 39906
Member # 39906
Default  Posted: 12:38 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I live in an at will state but she's pregnant. I was told it's risky to fire a pregnant women. Is this true?

Posts: 1825 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 29130
Member # 29130
Default  Posted: 5:20 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pregnant women are in a protected class, so it could be sticky. At will does not protect you from legal challenges from terminated employees

I work in HR in an at will state. Pm me if you want and I might be able to do some research.

Me: BW Him: who cares
Divorced: 4/2015
2 DDs and DSs all under 10
Who knows how many affairs at this point
Multiple D-Days

I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.

Posts: 4722 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Back home again in Indiana
Topic Posts: 5

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