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How low did they go?

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Lovedyoumore posted 9/19/2013 11:28 AM

Some of us here carry heavy burdens in our hearts about our WS and the A. There are things we know that keep us up at night and make us think "who are you?" Or how could they do that? There are things that I find hard to fathom about the man I have been with for over 30 years. I know there are sexual acts and activities that makes my skin crawl, yet some of the most disturbing crap is really not about the sex. In my opinion, it goes even lower than the sex and I have a hard time even processing. So, what in your mind did the WS do during the A that shows how low they could go?

Mine....on a certain morning every week, after going to her house early in the a.m. for sex, the OW would follow him to church so they could celebrate the Eucharist together. They literally got up out of bed and went to church with sex all over them. What?!?

Dallas2 posted 9/19/2013 12:10 PM

Good question. The low my WH went was to tell his AP all about our life and problems. He also planned a new life with her. The lowest was keeping it a secret for years and still defended her.

The church thing, well maybe that's the lowest I've heard of.

Lovedyoumore posted 9/19/2013 12:18 PM

I just saw a similar topic title in JFO. I was not trying to TJ, just coincidence.

Whalers11 posted 9/19/2013 12:40 PM

For me it was having a breakdown on D-Day - like hyperventilating in the fetal position in a corner, after trying to get away so I could just go drive my car into a wall and kill myself - and him going right back to her, like seeing what it did to me had no impact at all. They conceived OC two weeks later.

I get chills just thinking about it - how he was just so cold and heartless and callous during that time. I will never be able to forgive him for that.

dindy posted 9/19/2013 12:49 PM

For me the fact the he told OW all about our relationship and slagged me off to her like I was some monster is pretty low.

In reality I was post-nattally depressed and feeling isolated with two very young children. I tried to reach out for him for help but all he was interested in was his career and OW.

I know that they talked about me being 'just a waitress' and working at the grace of someone charity as he said this to me one night and I knew then that they had discussed this.

Funny really as it didn't bother him me working at the grace of someone's charity when he was out of work for 4 months trying to build a new career and had zero money. He was happy enough then.

And then when he gets his career and I get pregnant he falls out of love with me for becoming the mother of his children.

But most of all, the fact that he never truly appreciated how much love I had invested in him. This was a big deal to me and not reciprocated. I don't think he will ever understand this and the depth of pain he has caused. He even sent me a text by mistake recently slagging me off because it had been 7 months since the 'affair'. Like I'm supposed to just pretend it never happened.

He has been spoon fed all his life and clearly sees love as an act of service that is owed to him. He is a mummy's boy and his dad often treats his mum like shit. So he obviously thought I would be the same person for him.

SoAngryAndHurt posted 9/19/2013 13:02 PM

The low was using our kids. That's how they first became "friends", but continuing to use our children's friendship to have play dates. Really?

Tired05 posted 9/19/2013 13:11 PM

I think the low was him blowing money on her, buying her nice dinners and an engagement ring, while I was 3 months from my due date with NOTHING for our child.

Also when he told me that he wanted to spend half of his vacation leave after the baby was born with OW. He was planning on getting on a plane only a week or so after our daughter would be born...and wasting it with his whore. While I was left to care for a newborn. Didn't end up happening...but just the fact that he thought of it (probably with the help of skankasaurus) is enough in my book. It still makes my blood boil.

coda87 posted 9/19/2013 14:12 PM

In my case I found out my WW was having an emotional affair and I confronted her about it. Two days later she meets the AP at a hotel (they were planning this before I found out) and made it a Physical Affair. I guess it is like an addiction.

[This message edited by coda87 at 2:12 PM, September 19th (Thursday)]

Kierst13 posted 9/19/2013 14:20 PM

The emotionally intimate thoughts and feelings they shared with one another. The bond they forged and continued to forge through False R and him lying while staring at me in MC.

StillLivin posted 9/19/2013 14:26 PM

Where does the list end?
For me, him telling me, "Thank you for all you have done for me and my sons!" while he was packing his bags to go to their lovenest.
I asked him "Is she worth it?" because I knew he was lying.
He responded that he wasn't going to her. He wanted a separation to get his head right, God was telling him some things about himself that he didn't like. Oh, and that he just wanted to get right with God first before coming back to me.
Hah, the process server showed up right at that moment to serve him!
Dirty dirty dirty liars. All of them.
I see all the hard, heartbreaking work the WS forum reads. I know that they may have made the same mistakes, but they owned up to it, are doing everything in their power to "fix" it.
I have respect for a man or woman owning their A and working to make their M better!
Mine is too selfish, too dirty, too entitled to ever do that.

namaste32 posted 9/19/2013 14:38 PM

One of the lows was when H got done fuckin OW,he left with the rubber on his dick.While driving home he yanked it off tossed it out of the window and came home. He didnt shower that nite. The next morning he showered before work and put his clothes into our laundry basket ,including his underwear,with my kids and newborns clothes,....

Alex CR posted 9/19/2013 14:57 PM

For me it was him telling her I was dead....that he was a widow........

I still have a hard time with that and am pretty sure she wasn't expecting me to rise from the dead.....

HormonalWoman posted 9/19/2013 15:01 PM

He was on tour in afghan, i was sending him parcels 2-3 times a week whilst i was home alone with 2 small kids and one on the way. My ds ended up in hospital for 3 days which was pretty horrible. We came out of hospital, I accessed wh's email and found he had emailed ow to tell her i'd had a scan and knew the sex of our baby but refused to tell him.

I wasn't sure whether to be more insulted over the blatant lie or the fact he hadn't remembered my scan date and that i hadn't actually had it yet

P.s i was still in the naive believing they were 'just email friends' stage at this point.

HormonalWoman posted 9/19/2013 15:02 PM

Wow Alex, that is awful

Going To Make It posted 9/19/2013 16:24 PM

What I'm about to tell you all is quite GROSS, OW is his serial cheating xw, he was married to her for about 3 years.

One visit, xw asked him if he ever had any sexual fantasy's while they were married. He told her yes he did and proceeded to tell her

He wanted to have a threesome with her sister (k) and have xw give oral to sister after he finished in her. Believe it or not, she said SHE WOULD HAVE DONE THAT!

Alex, did you tell him that's what Scott Peterson said to his ow?

trumanshow posted 9/19/2013 18:17 PM

The emotionally intimate thoughts and feelings they shared with one another. The bond they forged and continued to forge through False R and him lying while staring at me in MC.

wow Kierst-same here

The OW has the same first and middle name as me. Her H had the same name as my H. They went on trips together-he had her up to our second home (that we built and were going to retire in-vacation home) Even after my parent's 50th ann there with all my family. I left with DD and dogs to come back and work-he stayed to close up- OW was there in a matter of hours. Like she was the wife!

crazyblindsided posted 9/19/2013 18:30 PM

The emotionally intimate thoughts and feelings they shared with one another. The bond they forged and continued to forge through False R and him lying while staring at me in MC.

Wow this hits close to home for me .

I would also add that my WH told MOW about my attempted suicide and that is the reason he is afraid to leave me.

Opheliapain posted 9/19/2013 19:38 PM

He broke up with the first woman he slept with on our 11th anniversary by sending her parts of a love letter he had written me when he was getting ready to propose.

He used a picture on his fake facebook account that I took the day before of him while we were on a date. He updated the picture when I was at the hospital with my mother who had heart problems and we thought had a heart attack but really a stroke.

That he brought condoms and love notes into our house and made me wash his underwear he wore right after sex.

That he had sex with a woman 18 years older than him and 12 years younger. That his fake persona had his grandfathers name and his mother's maiden name.

Last time he had sex he called me on the phone because my radar was pinging but cofused as to why because he is soooo above it all. He called me to tell me how hard he worked to make sure we had trust while he traveled and how much he appreciated me and loved me and wanted to take care of me. After he convinced me everything was okay he called her immediately to sleep with her and according to the email he wrote her the next morning he "held her tell she fell asleep and kissed her on the forehead and whispered I love you."

Damn. It's all so low.

Ostrich80 posted 9/19/2013 19:43 PM

The things that are so hard for me to deal with
#1. I feel like he should have been the protector of our family and he did the opposite. He let the enemy in, he invited her into our lives.
#2 he was mean as hell to me. He scared our kids by exploding and verbally abusing me. My kids were afraid he would hurt me, thus causing major anxiety in them to this day.

#3 my DS was spiraling deep into drug addiction which I think my ws treatment of him helped get it going. I WAS frantic and scared he was going to OD. Ws disowned him then kicked him out. When I wouldbt abideby his decision and continued to see DS and try to get him help, ws told me to choose between them. I told him to fuck off cuz it wasn't going to be him I chose. I guess that was the green light for him to finally fuck the bitch he'd been sexting for months.
At the time I had no where to go, no $ to go with and felt so trapped. I have major hatred for him during that time. Not only was he not there for me, he was against me.

MsRukia posted 9/19/2013 20:00 PM

This is still so painful there are two things in particular.
1. Having sex with OW in my bed. I was in the hospital having just given birth to our third daughter.
2. Had sex again in my bed while I was staying at the hospital with my oldest. She had double pneumonia.

'twas low indeed.

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