I'm sorry Erzulie. I've recently come to the conclusion that I spent my entire marriage - 16 years - in a false reconciliation.
My NPD is such a cunning, manipulative, skilled liar. I'm surprised he even got caught at the end. In fact, the only reason he got caught is because he's also a SA, and his behavior spiraled so out of control that even HE couldn't lie his way out of it.
I'm going to get an annulment in the Catholic Church - is that what you're referring to?
(((HUGS))) You will get through this. Please keep posting. You'll find lots of support here. Also, if you're on FB, look at the page "After Narcissistic Abuse." I think you'll be able to relate and get some clarity and strength from that community too. I just lurk there, but I can relate to nearly every post.