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False Reconciliation - another lightbulb

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erzulie posted 9/19/2013 16:55 PM

Another thing just dawned on me.

Since this isn't my first time down the "infidelity road" ... and since the first episode occurred before we married ... before the "hard work" he did for over 8 months in counseling to "repair himself" (that I fell for) ... I think it just hit me. My entire marriage was a false reconciliation.

A tough one to swallow for me.

I almost wish I could get an annulment.

Nature_Girl posted 9/19/2013 16:58 PM

Oh Honey, I wish I could just hug you & tuck you in on your couch with some pillows & a blanket. Your mind has been opened, and as a result the puzzle pieces are falling into place. This is a really hard time when the truth of your life is revealed. Take good care of yourself, okay? If you have a friend you can call, see if they can come over & support you.

sammie posted 9/20/2013 07:09 AM

Fucking RAT BASTARD!!!

I will come over to NG's and bring lemony snickets and Twinnings tea. And we can burn his clothes. Huge hugs.

That stupid fucker. MOre hugs.

Catwoman posted 9/20/2013 07:16 AM

I can relate--I spent 13 years in a false R marriage. Now I look for actions, not words. Always.

Hang in there--it DOES get better. I promise.

ChoosingHope posted 9/20/2013 07:58 AM

I'm sorry Erzulie. I've recently come to the conclusion that I spent my entire marriage - 16 years - in a false reconciliation.

My NPD is such a cunning, manipulative, skilled liar. I'm surprised he even got caught at the end. In fact, the only reason he got caught is because he's also a SA, and his behavior spiraled so out of control that even HE couldn't lie his way out of it.

I'm going to get an annulment in the Catholic Church - is that what you're referring to?

(((HUGS))) You will get through this. Please keep posting. You'll find lots of support here. Also, if you're on FB, look at the page "After Narcissistic Abuse." I think you'll be able to relate and get some clarity and strength from that community too. I just lurk there, but I can relate to nearly every post.

Nature_Girl posted 9/20/2013 10:35 AM

I'm going to get an annulment in the Catholic Church - is that what you're referring to?

t/j - Wow. I'm happy for you and horrified for you at the same time. And I'm envious of you. Only not really, since I have my own hell to deal with and yours isn't any better. (((HUGS)))

end t/j

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