This guy is a huge trigger for me. One of the first things I told her after DDAy was she had to go NC with AP and that I wanted to know when LoserGuy reached out. FWW told me about a month ago that LoserGuy was looking for info and I suggested that she talk to DS to see how he feels about it, he's old enough to choose for himself. FWW didn't do that and just responded with what she said was just a little email. To me, its just a little more than an email.
It seems to me that if DS doesn't want him in his life, I certainly don't want him in our lives, why can't FWW close that door and tell him to piss off once and for all. It feels like she's purposely keeping the door to that part of her life open when it could just be closed once and for all.
If my son has ever said he was curious about LoserGuy at all I would feel completely different about FWW giving him information but right now it just feels like an invitation into our not completely reconstructed M.
[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:02 AM, September 20th (Friday)]
We're not even talking today which makes me feel even more isolated. Status quo.
I'm glad there is distance between where your family lives and the donor. Has your son ever sent him an email stating how he feels and that he does not want him in his life? That may discourage the donor from reaching out to your FWW. Sending you strength.
If I were in your shoes I would absolutely read what she sent.
Your FWW should be bending over backwards to be transparent and she surely shouldn't be doing ANYTHING that makes you trigger or feel uncomfortable.
Sorry, but I would be pretty upset about this, and I wouldn't beat around the bush about it either.
Her A has changed the way of life in your M..forever..
Strength to you...