No, you are not the fucked up one. Not at all. Good Lord.
I agree that there comes a time where the focus should be on the positive, and building the marriage, BUT, if this stuff is still impacting you and still on your mind, it needs to be talked about, not swept under the rug.
Is there a way to come to a compromise between what your IC is saying and what you are feeling? Maybe talk about it during a set time each day?
Keep in mind that your IC is human too, and sometimes they can give bad advice. I view individual counselors much like I do the advice you find on SI, take what you need, and leave the rest.