One year later, I'm in love with him. However, he doesn't feel the same - at all. My bad - I was never supposed to develop those feelings, but... I did.
The summer was really great, but it had to go somewhere - or end. So, it ends... at least this time I'm not crying, although my stomach feels sick.
Endings suck... and this time for my own good, I need to keep it ended... crumbs aren't good enough anymore. I guess the lesson to myself is that they never should have been... but in all fairness, there was a time that was all I wanted and gave as well. It worked when it worked. Just doesn't anymore.
I'm rambling, and I know y'all are tired of hearing it. How many times have I said goodbye now? LOL - sheesh... two days ago made a halfhearted attempt and he roped me back in so quickly and easily... but for nothing. Just to make sure I don't totally go away. UGH... I'm ready to move forward, even though that means just being alone - for a long while. I need my peace back.
I'm sorry. Sending you strength.
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be. ― Sarah McMane
Then again, I guess everyone probably does
Don't let him rope you back. Go find your peace.
Still hurts like hell.
I am with there in spirit riding out the pain. It sucks big times, it has been taking my breath at times, tears coming at the worst moments, back on the break-up/infidelity diet. 4 pounds gone in just 2 days.
We shall come out of this bent but not broken.
Take it easy.
It still sucks, though.
Sending strength and peace.
NL
I was in your shoes. I knew it had to move forward or end. And it ended. I didnt want it to end, but it never really existed. And what do you know, someone better did come along. Someone who wanted to be with me. What if i had still been grasping at crumbs and missed him?
Look up the baggage reclaim article of "letting go of a relationship that doesnt exist" its oh so common. I read that article over and over.
Oh and the most pathetic part... is you know what I'm I love with? A romanticized scenario created solely in my head, that never ever actually existed.
Sister, welcome to my world. My entire marriage to The Princess didn't exist in the incarnation I thought it did.
You can get through this just like you did the last one. And you'll end up great!
Just takes some time.
Married Aug/95 DDay Nov/12 Separated Mar/13 Finally divorced Jul/17
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!
Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?
No contact is your best friend. You know that.
My phone (Samsung Galaxy S4) has a feature called auto reject that stops the call before it ever reaches you.....maybe something like that would work for you?
I think you are doing the right things. It is okay to hide and lick the wounds for a while. Seriously, it is.
It is a big step when we can walk away from those we like, but those that we see cannot be good for us.
Cat
Just goes to show us that we need to heed that voice! I didn't listen to mine either.
More hugs, K
Haven't heard from him in a few days; haven't seen him in almost a month. I'm going away to the beach this weekend on a spontaneous road trip with a buddy... hoping that the fun trip away and relaxation at the beach will be the last shedding of the crumbs...
