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Hug 'em if you got 'em

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Jrazz posted 9/20/2013 13:24 PM

We've had a tricky last week or so.

Nothing Earth shattering - just life stuff. Asthma, bumps and bruises, money stuff etc.

For many reasons we've been missing Crazz's mother a bit more right now... she passed away in 2009. Something about the air cooling and the leaves changing colors just makes us think about the impending holidays and how that was always her season to shine, I suppose.

My mother is a great mom in a lot of ways, but not particularly warm. She ALWAYS put us first, and she spent a lot of time on us, but her FOO issues sometimes prevented her from having a softness, or empathy if you will, that I always seemed to crave from our relationship.

As I became an adult we found a way to meet each other emotionally and listen to each other. It takes work but it's heartening every time one of us asks to be understood and the other stops and listens. Even with that in place, I've never really "ran" to her for hugs or solace.

She and her husband have been touring England and France over the last couple weeks, and she's been emailing with these epic journal entries of their travel - really cool.

Somewhere along the lines last week I started to feel homesick for her, and really miss her. They always shut off their phones and just communicate via email when they travel, and I am grateful for that for sure.

I guess I just started thinking about how much I would miss her if she was gone-gone, and how lucky I am to still have her even though we don't see eye-to-eye on some critical things regarding people and relationships.

Well, they are sitting at a restaurant on the Champs d'Elysee right this very moment, and her husband used his phone to make a work call and she asked if she could call me. I can't tell you how my heart felt to see the number. It was silly. I tried being composed as we said hello but then I just burst into tears and had to spend the next couple minutes convincing her that we were all fine. I was just missing her. I asked her why she called now, and she said that her heart just told her to.


We get frustrated with our family. We wish things were different, or better sometimes, but I think that as long as there's love we should just remember to be grateful for every moment we have, because you never know when your time is up.

Ugh - my poor mom. That's what she get's for checking in with Basketcase McGee!

[This message edited by Jrazz at 3:45 PM, September 20th (Friday)]

GabyBaby posted 9/20/2013 13:27 PM

We get frustrated with our family. We wish things were different, or better sometimes, but I think that as long as there's love we should just remember to be grateful for every moment we have, because you never know when your time is up.

Amen to that.
I hope things lighten up on you/family.

((( Jrazz )))

MovingUpward posted 9/20/2013 13:27 PM

(((Jrazz and mama razz and the whole razz family)))

jo2love posted 9/20/2013 13:29 PM

(((Jrazz & family)))

nowiknow23 posted 9/20/2013 13:29 PM

((((((Razz))))))

Rebreather posted 9/20/2013 13:43 PM

You made me cry a little. And not just out of jealousy they are sitting on one of the best streets in the world. lol

I struggle with my relationship with my mom. I know she loves me to distraction, but she doesn't "get" me. So it's hard to be me and not have conflict.

I am glad she called you. Weird when things work like that, huh?

truthsetmefree posted 9/20/2013 14:05 PM

((((B.McGee))))

Really great post.

It's so easy to forget what really matters. Or just how short life really is. But isn't it funny how realizing it just fills us with such love? How that alone just immediately changes our perspective?

[This message edited by truthsetmefree at 2:05 PM, September 20th (Friday)]

fraeuken posted 9/20/2013 14:08 PM

Nice post. There is a connection with family that often shows in moments like this.

ajsmom posted 9/20/2013 14:15 PM

Yep. Couldn't agree more.

Both my parents are gone and there are no words for how much I miss them.


AJ's MOM

Jrazz posted 9/20/2013 14:24 PM

It makes me want to give Crazz and extra big hug because I know he feels the loss so often and doesn't let on.

Hugs to everybody today.

Deeply Scared posted 9/20/2013 14:28 PM

(((Jrazz)))

Go easy honey...one day at a time

LosferWords posted 9/20/2013 14:29 PM

(((Razz Family)))

I can definitely relate. We miss my mother-in-law, who passed away in 2008. Give Crazz a bro hug for me.

click4it posted 9/20/2013 15:44 PM

((((((Jrazz))))))))))

Seeing her number on your phone...feeling your heart flutter...not silly AT all. Glad you got to talk with your mom today. It was meant to be at the moment. Everything you say about family is absolutely true.

Your post brought me to tears.

metamorphisis posted 9/20/2013 16:42 PM

Such an important message. Really.
Jrazz, when I grew into adulthood and got the heck over myself I stopped wishing for the giant sentimental Hallmark cards that other girls got from their moms and SAW her and.. well she's freaking amazing and I want her here always. My dad too. I love them so very much.
This September my last sibling moved out. My parents are doing ok and traveling and seem happy but I ache for them and take my kids over to fill up the house with noise. When they call to invite me over for dinner on a weeknight (which never ever happened before..they've always been so busy with 6 kids and careers and education and this board, and that volunteer thing).. well I worry about them.
Ugh.. I'm rambling. But I do appreciate them.
Thank you for the reminder.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:43 PM, September 20th (Friday)]

Jpapageorge posted 9/20/2013 18:30 PM

We get frustrated with our family. We wish things were different, or better sometimes, but I think that as long as there's love we should just remember to be grateful for every moment we have, because you never know when your time is up.

(I still have my Dad's home and cell numbers in my contacts list...)

persevere posted 9/20/2013 21:00 PM

Awww Jrazz (((Hugs))) that is awesome.

I have a lot of issues with my mom but we've been in a better place recently. This post reminds me why the effort is important. Thank you. <3

simplydevastated posted 9/20/2013 22:36 PM

(((Hugs)))


This is so true. I'm so grateful to have my mother. Even with everything she's dealing with she still makes time to listen to vent. She may not have the words to help, and she's said that to me, but her listening is the best thing in the world to me.

PS. I still have my Aunt's email address in my contacts list. I won't delete it either.

Jrazz posted 9/20/2013 23:46 PM

Thanks everyone.

wildbananas posted 9/21/2013 00:01 AM

As someone who had an uninvolved mother and who now has a mother with dementia... yes, hug 'em if you got 'em.

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