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Newest Member: WOPR (61467)

User Topic: NC Understanding
♀ 39637
Member # 39637
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I read about how the WS needs to have no contact with the OW. So one of the W is his ex and the mother of his child. Yeah - the best situation ever. I'm curious what people's thoughts are on NC with this type of situation where they have needed to communicate in the past about visitations, pickups, education etc... With him being an SA he isn't supposed to have contact with her either through those steps too but I just don't know how that gets done. Thoughts?

Me: BS, 31
Him: WH/SA, 31
Together 8 years
Married 7 years
DS1, DD2, DSontheway 10/10/13
Official DDAY: October 2012
'09 some things came out, he went to SA, stopped doing it and he went to town! Always been caught and never confessed.

Posts: 23 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Connecticut
♀ 18814
Member # 18814
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NC can be done still in these situations. It's like the 180 when you have NC with a WS that is still in the fog, you only talk about children and finances but that's it. In this case, communication with ex is only limited to the child and welfare of child.

You can set up requirements on how this will transpire. For example, you should be allowed to listen to the conversation or you have to be present when he talks to her or something so that you know he is complying with NC. IMHO the child should not be punished and loose a parent because of the parent's issues. This way the child is taken cared of but there is no "sweet" talk between your spouse and the OW.

Easy for me to say as this is a hard situation nonetheless. It's just a suggestion, I'm sure others here can chime in with better ones. Hugs your way.

Love is a choice.

True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.

Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.

-October 3, 2007-

Posts: 928 | Registered: Mar 2008
♀ 40166
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh, that's hard. :(

Could it go through a third party? Or be only via email and you are cc'd on everything?

I hope you find something that works.

Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 1127 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 3

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