How to process all this pain anymore. MC says they're MY ISSUES, not his.
What your MC is saying is true, IMO, but is VERY INAPPROPRIATE to say in front of your WH. This is because while, yes, you need to move forward and healing is your responsibility, WSs hear this message from an MC as a get out of jail free card, meaning that they do not have to do any post-A cleanup work because the BS should be 'over it.'
Yes only you can heal yourself. You can control your thinking - that is up to you. My goal would be to get over the trauma, be able to self-regulate better, and develop an ability to CLEARLY see who you are married to. Then make a choice to forgive him, and then subsequently stay with him or divorce him. Make this choice based on your needs and a view of your WH without denial.
My MC would tell me about my anger outbursts that merely they were not helping me accomplish my goal. Unfair, but true.
[This message edited by MC_Jack at 4:29 PM, September 20th (Friday)]
I still get upset, but I am also reaching a stage of acceptance where the A is not bothering me as much as WHO my WH is. That is my current hurdle.