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Divorce/Separation :
Latest Holiday Delusions from Crazy stbx part II

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 sleepless34 (original poster member #40274) posted at 11:03 PM on Friday, September 20th, 2013

Okay, so Mr.Integrity who can not seem to understand consequences or take any responsibility really out did himself today.

At the Divorce Therapist we discussed holidays. We had been invited many moons ago to his brothers across the country for big family celebration. Since the separation, they have invited me and the kids as they feel so bad for us and know it would be a hard day for us here alone as we have no family here.

They want to show their support, and they want the kids to still know that they are still their family even if Daddy divorces mommy.

It will be joyful, lots of people, lots of activities, and it may be a little weird that he is not there, but not as weird as having Thanksgiving alone at home the three of us or a morning thanksgiving with me and evening thanksgiving with him?? Our therapist thought it was a GREAT idea. He was kind of upset, but kind of agreed.

So, next day he calls his SIL crying and bitching her out for inviting me. He said she must have devised this scheme with me to keep him away from the kids. That I must be telling her everything and I turned her against him. He said "Who am I supposed to spend Thanksgiving with?"

She threw it right back at him and said,"what did you think was going to happen when you leave your wife and family? You asked us to get involed and support your wife and kids when you told us about this, and we think it would be good for them to be here vs alone and what do you expect them to do? Isn't that better for the kids? He just argued and argued about it and she said, "Fine, if you want to come and make your wife even more miserable and make all of the rest of us in your family miserable because of choices you made, then fine, you come too" and he said "well it will be weird if I am NOT there." OMG. CRAZY??????

And he couldn't wouldn't won't hear her. Like he can't hear me or the therapist or anyone else.

He is so insane. I am sure he is going to just try and ruin it so we can't go, cuz I need his "permission" to take them out of state. He will put his own selfish need in front of what is best for the kids. Again. But he thinks in his pea brain he is doing what is best for them.

He might wind up in the looney bin before Xmas at this rate. I just don't get how he can not see that this is what happens when you F**K around and have a filty double life and then leave your wife for another woman. It ain't just about you, it is about the kids and the grandparents and the aunts and the uncles. It effects not just the everyday but the holidays, the birthdays, the vacations, EVERY F**KING THING CHANGES DUMB ASS.

I think I know the answer to this one already but......Any one have this same type of crazy?

Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

posts: 446   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Hell
id 6495287
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Take2 ( member #23890) posted at 1:11 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

I didn't have that kind of crazy but I am familiar with the symptoms:

Words - "be nice to BW and kids"

Actions - IT'S ABOUT ME!!!!!

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

posts: 4432   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6495399
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Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 3:22 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

That's a perfect example of NPD. I wish your SIL hadn't caved to your STBX's demand. The best revenge would be to go and have a great time with the ILs, if it's at all possible to ignore the SOB.

DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

posts: 3406   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois, USA
id 6495498
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LifeIsBroken ( member #27071) posted at 4:56 AM on Sunday, September 22nd, 2013

I'm thinking his brother, not his SIL, should tell him to just stay home. If he does show, do your thing but be gracious, let the idiot see what he's missing. SHOW YOUR CHILDREN this is how adults act / let you be their example, not their father. Stupid man. Like most cheaters, he has no shame.

D-Day: 8/28/2009
BW: 59 @ D-Day XH: 60 @ D-Day Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
Beyond terror is freedom. (Agnes Martin)

posts: 1242   ·   registered: Jan. 5th, 2010   ·   location: Missouri
id 6496264
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