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Newest Member: 321maison

New Beginnings :
He broke up with me

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 Helen of Troy (original poster member #26419) posted at 2:55 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

I didn't cry, didn't plead.

I am shocked and mostly embarrassed. The thing rattling me the most is ex's words "no one will like you when they find out how you REALLY are".

Now I feel this is true.

He says he doesn't hate me, and it was nothing I did specifically. I feel confident there is no one else.

SI I feel so humiliated anyway. I stay with relationships no matter what, even when it is not easy.

I want to run away and hide.

We were exclusive one year.

posts: 4809   ·   registered: Dec. 4th, 2009
id 6495470
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 3:07 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

First (((will get by)))

I'm so sorry, break ups, are by definition just not easy.

As for the ridiculous words from your ex - FTG - he is full of narcissistic shit.

The breakup between your Ex and this breakup have nothing to do with each other. You were together a year, and it didn't work out. It will hurt like hell for a while, but in the end, you will learn from it.

PLEASE do not equate the break up with a narcissistic ass who tried to make you doubt yourself with this one. They are TWO different events.

So you surround yourself with some activities and friends as you are ready to and you will move on to better things. XXOO.

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6495481
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cayc ( member #21964) posted at 3:11 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

You have been struggling with negative self talk for some time now. IMHO this relationship of yours was exacerbating it. A relationship should make you feel hopeful & supportive. But that's not what you've been posting about here.

I know when some one leaves your life, it leaves a hole & that hole feels bad (even if you needed to get that person out of your life.

I know you're hurting but your xWH was wrong. What he said was a cheap shot designed to blame you & absolve him. And your xSO? Same thing in that you weren't feeling good around him but didn't want to admit it to yourself.

It's going to be ok, and youre going to feel better now that you have a fresh start. I promise.

(((Willgetby)))

posts: 3446   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2008   ·   location: Mexico
id 6495484
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 3:42 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

(((will get by)))

Your ex's words are garbage. A total lie.

I'm so sorry. I hope one day when you are ready, you meet someone who appreciates, loves, and respects you.

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6495514
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Pass ( member #38122) posted at 3:47 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

You may want to read Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies. It addresses a lot of negative self-talk, and may help you.

The thing rattling me the most is ex's words "no one will like you when they find out how you REALLY are".

The thing to remember about your ex: He's an asshole. He REALLY was a lying, cheating, piece of shit, and he didn't know what he REALLY had: The best thing that ever happened to him!

Did I mention he's an asshole?

Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.

posts: 3785   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6495522
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 4:17 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

oh, sweetie....

(((wgb)))

I am so sorry! You are awesome. How you REALLY are is purely beautiful. A break up is about two people, not one.

Indulge in grieving, and then set it aside. You have a lot going on right now!

I am here if you need to talk.

(((big hugs)))

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6495554
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ChoosingHope ( member #33606) posted at 4:41 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

(((willgetby)))

posts: 1855   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2011
id 6495571
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Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 4:47 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

((Wgb))

I'm sorry

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6495574
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stronger08 ( member #16953) posted at 11:08 AM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Post D relationships are just like the ones you had before you were M. You need to weed out what does not work for you. If he is not committed at least he did the honorable thing and broke up with you. Take a little time, mourn the loss and get back on the horse. Things will get better. Shoot, I'm many years out from D and I still have not met "the one" But I know that one day she will walk into my life when I least expect it. BTW your XH is a cheating asshole. Don't listen to what he has to say.

You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

posts: 6851   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2007
id 6495696
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damncutekitty ( member #5929) posted at 3:56 PM on Sunday, September 22nd, 2013

My XH told me I was impossible to love. I am finding out now how wrong he was, but it stuck with me for a long time.

12/18/15 found out my now EX boyfriend was trolling CL for underage girls. From the cops. The fun never stops.

posts: 49560   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2004   ·   location: Minneapolis
id 6496487
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Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 4:52 PM on Sunday, September 22nd, 2013

My wxh told me that I will never find someone that loved me like he did. I certainly hope that's true.

FTG.

Never forget the awesomeness that is you.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6496528
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