BS - Me
Today is our anniversary. The last two I refused to even acknowledge because they were both on the heels of DDay's.
Last year I thought this day was tainted. That I would never be able to see this day as ours again. I didn't want "this" day anymore. I mean he could have had sex with THEM on this day!!! (He actually didn't, I looked back at schedules, but I'm sure he did the day before or after). I mean he ruined the day!!!!!
However, after being in TRUE R, with a spouse who is all in after a very long fog, a year of false R and 2 DDays, I can say for sure, I have a marriage that is far far better than it ever was before. I have a remorseful husband, a husband that communicates with me, a husband that is emotionally intimate and bonded with me. A husband who will drop everything for me in an instant. He is no longer the selfish man he was for those 5 years, only thinking of himself and leaving me to flounder.
And so today, I feel like I can celebrate. Our new marriage, our renewed love. He surprises me each day how much he's changed and continues to change. I don't feel that nagging sense of dread anymore. I don't feel a sense of "he's not telling me everything" at all. I feel like our marriage is first vs. last.
I hate what it took to get us to this point. The trauma has been severe and I'm still healing. He is committed to helping me heal through this though.
So Happy Anniversary to Mr. Baker. We've weathered many storms over our marriage, however our love has never been as strong for each other. I love your more than the day I married you. I love you more and more each day. I want to grow old with you and watch our grandkids play as we hold hands smiling at our legacy. Thank you for loving me.
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking