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Newest Member: LonelyandUnsure

Reconciliation :
It's our anniversary

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 Kelany (original poster member #34755) posted at 12:56 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Today is our anniversary. The last two I refused to even acknowledge because they were both on the heels of DDay's.

Last year I thought this day was tainted. That I would never be able to see this day as ours again. I didn't want "this" day anymore. I mean he could have had sex with THEM on this day!!! (He actually didn't, I looked back at schedules, but I'm sure he did the day before or after). I mean he ruined the day!!!!!

However, after being in TRUE R, with a spouse who is all in after a very long fog, a year of false R and 2 DDays, I can say for sure, I have a marriage that is far far better than it ever was before. I have a remorseful husband, a husband that communicates with me, a husband that is emotionally intimate and bonded with me. A husband who will drop everything for me in an instant. He is no longer the selfish man he was for those 5 years, only thinking of himself and leaving me to flounder.

And so today, I feel like I can celebrate. Our new marriage, our renewed love. He surprises me each day how much he's changed and continues to change. I don't feel that nagging sense of dread anymore. I don't feel a sense of "he's not telling me everything" at all. I feel like our marriage is first vs. last.

I hate what it took to get us to this point. The trauma has been severe and I'm still healing. He is committed to helping me heal through this though.

So Happy Anniversary to Mr. Baker. We've weathered many storms over our marriage, however our love has never been as strong for each other. I love your more than the day I married you. I love you more and more each day. I want to grow old with you and watch our grandkids play as we hold hands smiling at our legacy. Thank you for loving me.

BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

posts: 2031   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2012
id 6495730
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scarredforever ( member #23875) posted at 1:09 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Congrats! Have a wonderful day together.

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."

Mark Twain

Me-BS 54
Him-WS 55
Together 35 years

6-5-06 Day of Reckoning

Familiarity breeds contempt.

posts: 1091   ·   registered: May. 5th, 2009   ·   location: swfl
id 6495740
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OnAnIsland ( member #34319) posted at 1:25 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Samantha, so glad to hear it. Celebrate the day with mr. Baker!

D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful sons

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou

posts: 1486   ·   registered: Dec. 28th, 2011
id 6495745
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catlover50 ( member #37154) posted at 1:53 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

That's wonderful! Congratulations!

Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled

posts: 2376   ·   registered: Oct. 16th, 2012   ·   location: northeast
id 6495761
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SpaceJane ( member #40303) posted at 2:49 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Your post gives me so much hope. I cried happy tears for you. It makes me so happy that to see that there is light at the end if this horrible tunnel.

I am 3 weeks out of DDay with my possible SAWH. And it's hard to imagine happiness like yours. I have often wondered if I could ever love him the same way again, or even look at him the same way. Everything is just so shattered right now. After reading that you love him MORE than before, my heart sees so much hope.

I hope that one day I can also write a similar post to yours. Thank you for sharing this. Celebrate all weekend.. Congratulations on your new marriage and new life!

Me BS: 29
SAWH: 29
M: 3yrs ; T: 12yrs
DDay1: 8/11/13 confessed to tip of the iceberg.
DDay2: 8/26/13 Found secret email, 7 yrs of CL casual encounters, dating websites, massage parlors, etc.

posts: 61   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 6495793
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 Kelany (original poster member #34755) posted at 2:53 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Jane, I'm so sorry. SA is so hard to navigate in addition to infidelity. There is support here though. Much love to you.

BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

posts: 2031   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2012
id 6495795
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StillStanding1 ( member #40144) posted at 2:53 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Congratulations! Enjoy a wonderful day.

Thanks for giving us all a bit of hope that it is possible!

Me: BS50s Him: WH50s
M 25 years - DD DS DS
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday - 2/13, S for 1 year, now R

posts: 1632   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 6495796
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WaryOptimist ( member #19911) posted at 5:11 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

So glad to hear your positive news.

We share the same anniversay, SB, and this morning my FWH woke me up by saying, "Happy Anniversary to the best thing that's ever happened to me." It looks better than ever that we'll finally get beyond this A.

Hope your celebration today is lovely.

Me: The faithful one Him: WS 4 incredible, grown kids Married 37 years, together 44 D-Day: April 1, 2006 (yep, April Fool's Day...)Aaaas Yoouuu Wiiiish...

posts: 738   ·   registered: Jun. 16th, 2008   ·   location: Here & There
id 6495893
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Silentthoughts ( member #40289) posted at 5:27 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Happy anniversary! Enjoy the day, ya'll have earned it.

WW - early 50s (me)
BH - late 40s
3 grown children
Married 25 years
Online cyber sex dec 2010. I got caught late dec 2010. Lying and TT until full disclosure jan 2011.
In R we both are committed to staying in this M.

posts: 76   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2013
id 6495909
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