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It's our anniversary

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Kelany posted 9/21/2013 06:56 AM

Today is our anniversary. The last two I refused to even acknowledge because they were both on the heels of DDay's.

Last year I thought this day was tainted. That I would never be able to see this day as ours again. I didn't want "this" day anymore. I mean he could have had sex with THEM on this day!!! (He actually didn't, I looked back at schedules, but I'm sure he did the day before or after). I mean he ruined the day!!!!!

However, after being in TRUE R, with a spouse who is all in after a very long fog, a year of false R and 2 DDays, I can say for sure, I have a marriage that is far far better than it ever was before. I have a remorseful husband, a husband that communicates with me, a husband that is emotionally intimate and bonded with me. A husband who will drop everything for me in an instant. He is no longer the selfish man he was for those 5 years, only thinking of himself and leaving me to flounder.

And so today, I feel like I can celebrate. Our new marriage, our renewed love. He surprises me each day how much he's changed and continues to change. I don't feel that nagging sense of dread anymore. I don't feel a sense of "he's not telling me everything" at all. I feel like our marriage is first vs. last.

I hate what it took to get us to this point. The trauma has been severe and I'm still healing. He is committed to helping me heal through this though.

So Happy Anniversary to Mr. Baker. We've weathered many storms over our marriage, however our love has never been as strong for each other. I love your more than the day I married you. I love you more and more each day. I want to grow old with you and watch our grandkids play as we hold hands smiling at our legacy. Thank you for loving me.

scarredforever posted 9/21/2013 07:09 AM

Congrats! Have a wonderful day together.

OnAnIsland posted 9/21/2013 07:25 AM

Samantha, so glad to hear it. Celebrate the day with mr. Baker!

catlover50 posted 9/21/2013 07:53 AM

That's wonderful! Congratulations!

SpaceJane posted 9/21/2013 08:49 AM

Your post gives me so much hope. I cried happy tears for you. It makes me so happy that to see that there is light at the end if this horrible tunnel.

I am 3 weeks out of DDay with my possible SAWH. And it's hard to imagine happiness like yours. I have often wondered if I could ever love him the same way again, or even look at him the same way. Everything is just so shattered right now. After reading that you love him MORE than before, my heart sees so much hope.

I hope that one day I can also write a similar post to yours. Thank you for sharing this. Celebrate all weekend.. Congratulations on your new marriage and new life!

Kelany posted 9/21/2013 08:53 AM

Jane, I'm so sorry. SA is so hard to navigate in addition to infidelity. There is support here though. Much love to you.

StillStanding1 posted 9/21/2013 08:53 AM

Congratulations! Enjoy a wonderful day.

Thanks for giving us all a bit of hope that it is possible!

WaryOptimist posted 9/21/2013 11:11 AM

So glad to hear your positive news.

We share the same anniversay, SB, and this morning my FWH woke me up by saying, "Happy Anniversary to the best thing that's ever happened to me." It looks better than ever that we'll finally get beyond this A.

Hope your celebration today is lovely.

Silentthoughts posted 9/21/2013 11:27 AM

Happy anniversary! Enjoy the day, ya'll have earned it.

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