Thanks. I am grateful for being heard here, it's really a comfort to know I'm not alone with these issues.
When I am feeling really down like this, I tend to want to blame FWH for ruining everything ... and it's not helpful. I mean, what he did was really really awful and mean. But we're here now, and I need to refocus on myself. What am I doing to heal? Right now, not much, just licking my old wounds.
I am trying to keep my "self-talk" positive, reminding myself that what others think of me is none of my business (don't know why but this helps me :) and also keep telling myself that *I* am responsible for my happiness.
I don't want to connect with him emotionally when I'm feeling this way, but I probably should try. This stuff isn't easy, nor is it for the faint at heart, is it?