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Had to laugh so I wouldn't cry

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 Gemini71 (original poster member #40115) posted at 9:23 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Received this from the OW, my XBFF on FB

"I am sorry to bother you. I just wanted to let you know that I was out with my mother and sister tonight. Apparently Mom had seen something on your Facebook page about you and STBXH divorcing. She and (sister) were asking me questions etc. I told them very little. I just felt that I should let you know in case my mom sends you a note or anything you wouldn't be surprised. I hope you are ok. If for any reason you need anything let me know."

Gee. Guess she didn't want to fess up to being a homewrecker. Some people just don't get it.

DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

posts: 3406   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois, USA
id 6496015
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Chicky ( member #18622) posted at 9:37 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Ugh! The nerve of her to try to forewarn you. Too bad she didn't care enough about you to keep her hands off your husband. Sorry you had to deal with that. I don't think my advice will be considered constructive by the majority, but if her mom or any member of her family for that matter, contacts you out of concern, I would tell them EXACTLY why you are divorcing. You don't have to give the gory, smutty details, but you should certainly let them know that it's because your "best friend" had a sexual affair with your husband.

Givers need to set limits because takers never do. THIS GIVER DID and because I stood my ground, we are happily RECONCILED!

posts: 1025   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2008   ·   location: Planet Earth
id 6496019
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 Gemini71 (original poster member #40115) posted at 9:42 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Thanks Chicky. Soon after D-Day I seriously considered contacting her family to out the A, but decided it wasn't worth my time. I think her heads-up was more a subtle plea for me not to tell them about her part in things if they do contact me. But I agree with you. If asked, I will tell the truth. I did nothing to be ashamed of!

DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

posts: 3406   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois, USA
id 6496020
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iwillNOT ( member #40605) posted at 10:05 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

I would also read it as her forewarning you so you wouldn't be surprised into outing her. Leave the lying to her. Tell the truth and hold your head high. You are not at fault here, how dare she try to make you(even subtly) a party to her deceit!

Me: BS, 46
Him: WH, 47
Together 24 years
4 amazing kids
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Choosing myself daily and R almost every

posts: 702   ·   registered: Sep. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 6496035
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Amber13 ( member #40505) posted at 11:11 PM on Saturday, September 21st, 2013

Ha! Totally agree with the others. Is she basically asking you to lie for her? How the tables have turned.

posts: 67   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2013
id 6496065
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 12:11 AM on Sunday, September 22nd, 2013

Well, color me a bitch, but I think that this was a sign from above that I had neglected to touch base with the ho's mom & sister. Rather kind of her to remind me that I hadn't talked to them in some time, don't you know...

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6496093
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 12:37 AM on Sunday, September 22nd, 2013

((((Gemini)))) Not sure of your state of NC with OW, but it seems like there are several doors open on FB that are allowing her visibility into your life (via her mother seeing your wall) and giving her the ability to message you.

For your own mental health, consider shutting those doors and deadbolting them.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6496111
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seriouslylostit ( member #23987) posted at 10:34 AM on Sunday, September 22nd, 2013

This is too easy. Tell her that you did hear from her mom and her mom apologized for her daughter being a home wrecking whore. Then just let her sort that out with her mom.

posts: 845   ·   registered: May. 12th, 2009
id 6496344
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 2:37 PM on Sunday, September 22nd, 2013

Crickets and what NIK said. Block the lot of them - no more windows into your life.

What a POS. I'm so sorry hun.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6496417
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