My mom was furious and wanted to hand XSO's mom a piece of her mind. She felt his issues lay with mommy and because she was apologizing for his bad behavior spoke volumes about his cheating in general. Never responsible for his actions. A man child who could count on someone else to make his excuses. What is everyone else's experiences? I for one was not moved. At all.
She support our efforts to reconcile, she also told me she supported me fully if I chose to separate or divorce.
She's been there for me to talk to many times. She's watched our kids for not only me for IC, but us for MC. Or us when we needed to discuss some major stuff without them around. When he was fired due to his behavior, she helped us financially as well as helped him get a temp job as well.
His father, we really don't have a relationship with. He told his dad he was laid off, asked to borrow money and that was that.
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
We have since made peace and she realises what a douche her son is. She's not a fan of the OW, think she realised I wasn't so bad afterall
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
So, they give him a pass and accepted every skank that he's ever been with.
They all deserve each other.
"Affairs are not mistakes, they are a series of deliberate choices." - CrappyLife
"Regret is when you realize you broke your own heart.
Remorse is when you realize you broke someone else's." - Bla
The exception is my SIL (STBXH's brother's wife). She was out of town when it all hit the fan, so she contacted me wanting to know what was going on. I told her everything I knew, and she completely understands my position. If is wasn't for my SIL I wouldn't know anything, like how STBXH has minimized everything to his mom, how his dad is barely talking to him, and his brother thinks STBXH is a "horse's ass."
I'm pretty sure we'll be able to maintain a cordial relationship, maybe even better than that, but it will take time. There is a lot of hurt on all sides, and I can't imagine visiting at the same time as STBX. Only time will tell how it will all work out.
*corrected grammer and typos.
[This message edited by Gemini71 at 10:00 AM, September 22nd (Sunday)]
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
But have to add: Both STBXH mom & dad had affairs. MIL professed support on one hand, but then said she couldn't stop who her son brought over to the house.
I have removed his whole family from my life. They all have major issues and are not the ever going to be a part of my life. They are weak, muppet level people. I only wish I knew before I got married all of the issues they have. It would have saved me so much grief.
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen
She has encouraged me to speak with lawyers to make sure that my daughter and I are taken care of.
She wants us to R, but says she completely understands if I feel the need to D.
She's dealt with infidelity before, so she has an idea of things work/feel.
Their response to our separation was a backhanded, "We wish you both the happiness you deserve."
Neither of us--and neither of our kids--has heard from them, or ANYONE in Trac-fone's family--since then.
We ceased to exist.
Very sad for my children, who feel as though THEIR value has diminished.
They've had so many losses. (Never mind that the inlaws in question are toxic; there are aunts and uncles and cousins who have vanished from our lives, and that is just perplexing; I've known the sibs since they were kids, and they can't spare a kind word for my kids?!)
As far as the "You'll get over it" comment, I think it is coming from the right place. The second comment, however, is a real view into the dysfunction. I get it that doctors are humans, too, but to be so dismissive of an integral developmental phase of a child - when it's YOUR OWN CHILD - is just neglectful and smacks of so much denial. Which, ahem, is part of the reason I am here. So I guess what i am trying to say is that the comments made by the inlaws are pretty revealing about what went on at home.
Apparently she regretted her choice to D cheating, drinking FIL and become a single mom.
Do I care anymore? NOPE. I have been told, by their friends, that one day they will forgive me. I laughed in their faces. I said that's nice, but I didn't do anything to be forgiven for. Maybe if they are lucky one day I will forgive them for treating me like shit BUT I sure hope they aren't holding their breath! Well, maybe I do hope they are