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May send my DD here

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rachelc posted 9/22/2013 09:25 AM

I knew something was up with her - lots of time on her hands, minimal job is all she can find but has 4 year degree, unhappy with her life...

Hubby read emails and saw pictures sent and meetup time with Craigslist guy.

They've been married 2.5 years, dated since 8th grade.
I'm sick. She understands that it has nothing to do with hubby but her own inability to deal with her unhappiness. She's got such a long row to hoe...

no kids yet, no 25 decent years behind them...

not sure how much I should get involved but I told her to stop by our house for books and i'll tell her about this site.

[This message edited by rachelc at 9:26 AM, September 22nd (Sunday)]

cantaccept posted 9/22/2013 09:47 AM

It is so hard to see your children go through this pain. Especially when you know so very personally the depth of it.

My son, 28 years old, so serious, so very heartfelt.

4 years ago, he put his school on hold and moved 1500 miles away to be with and support his girlfriend while she finished her masters in psychology.

Their agreement was he would help to support her until she finished school and then it would be his turn to finish.

Weeks after she finished, she started with the familiar "love but not in love" and similar phrases.

I knew instantly what was happening. All I could do was listen and try to coach him on how to take care of himself, sent him the "180".

I did not voice my belief to him about what I thought the issue was. That was not my place. All I could do was encourage him to question, not to take anything at face value.

The one bright spot of having gone through this is that I could truly empathize with him. I could give him "real" ways to cope.

The hardest though was truly knowing the hell he was in and is still trying to come out of.

Sorry this got so long, and more about my sitch.

I guess my point is, our childrens pain is almost as painful as our own. How much it hurts to see our "babies" suffer.

It sometimes feels as if there should be a public service campaign warning of the pain and consequences of infidelity. Like for smoking or the labels on alcohol. I guess no one pays attention to those either.

Good luck with this. I can empathize with your pain.

Clarrissa posted 9/22/2013 18:53 PM

We told our DD about this site. Pretty sure she's read some here. I stay logged in, have almost since my registration and one day while she was with us I came on to read, probably post and I was logged out.

I know she's using some of the advice we've passed on from those going through D since she's currently going through D *and* a custody battle with her STBX.

Sorry for the t/j. Just want you to know I understand the probable mixed feelings you're having right now - sadness that your DD could use a place like this and being glad there *is* a place like this so she can get help.

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