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Newest Member: NHope (61816)

User Topic: OW Influence
♀ 39362
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It seems as though STBXWH is a different person when he and OW are together. They've been together and broken up a couple of times since dday (yes, it's a solid relationship, lol).

It seems as though he's more aggressive and nasty toward me when they're together and I'm wondering if this is common.

I've had NC to him for almost 2 months, but now that they're on the outs, he keeps sending me sad emails.

There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 415 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is somewhat common, Rainbows. Often, the glue that holds a WS and AP together is the common enemy they paint the BS to be.

Keep your NC shields up, especially when he's being sad.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40250 | Registered: Aug 2011
♀ 40665
Member # 40665
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH does the exact same thing.

Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
♀ 38378
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Diddo here, Rainbows.

NC is tricky (for X, anyway) when I manage it for longer periods of time and he doesn't know what's happening with us.

Whenever X is friendlier, or letting emotions show, I tend to suspect an OW tiff or a wish for ego feed that may not be coming from there, so needs to be fed somehow, like the cat when no one's home.

ETA that it's really cool that you're questioning it...and good for you on the NC!

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 4:46 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)]

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

Posts: 3034 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
♀ 36445
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 4:21 AM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it is pretty common, I think it's trying to 'prove' to AP that they are over you and put on the tough guy act. Kind of see I'm nasty to ex-spouse you (AP) are my number one priority now.

I actually prefer it when my ex is being nasty because then I know what he is up too. If he's been nice then he generally wants something or I'm about to be hit by something big.

Can always guarantee when things are rocky in the relationship he is a real prick to me.

Me: BW

Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.

Life's good.

Posts: 1530 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
♀ 21634
Member # 21634
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep! This happens to me as well.

I am the enemy. After all, I am the bitch that was and is making him miserable! After I am out of his life he will be completely happy!!! Yeah....right!

BS - ME 43
WH 44
Married 20 years
DDay #1 12/28/07
DDay #2 9/18/08
DDay #3 12/28/08
Dday #4 11/18/10 (same OW)
Dday #5 8/22/12 (same OW)
2 beautiful daughters
"Love grows where it is nurtured and dies where it is not!"

Posts: 841 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: NJ
Topic Posts: 6

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