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Labmom123 posted 9/22/2013 17:20 PM

hg

[This message edited by Labmom123 at 8:37 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)]

SisterMilkshake posted 9/22/2013 22:38 PM

I am so sorry I didn't see your post, Labmom123. It is oftentimes slow on the weekends, not many people around. (((Labmom123)))

mchercheur posted 9/22/2013 22:42 PM

(((Labmom123)))
Yes, you will be. Sending you strength to get thru this.

cantaccept posted 9/23/2013 04:57 AM

(((Labmom)))

I don't know your story but I can feel your pain. I understand it too well.

I am in the midst of the 1st a season and it feels as if I am getting worse. The memories of last year this time, before I knew what was happening in my life. Grieving for who I was on these days, the innocence.

All I can do to soothe myself right now, to try to counteract the feelings of hopelessness, is to remember how I really felt then. To acknowledge how far I have really come.

It is hard to continue on, day to day with this pain inside. It is so hard to see that it is getting better. I have to make a conscious effort to recognize it. I believe the hardest part is that time factor. I want to make it go faster, get it over with. I want to be better now!!!

I find the times when I feel the best are when I can stay in the moment, try to appreciate the positive things in my life now. Not easy, so much work, sometimes it seems as if the pain has a life of its own. Sometimes it seems as if I have to fight my own mind, my thoughts, to keep from sinking into a pit.

I just try to have hope for a better future. I try to accept that I cannot have the past that I wanted. I try to appreciate how strong I have become (sometimes). I try to be grateful that I will never live that marginal life ever again, (our marriage was pretty bad).

Are you in IC? A Godsend for me.

Do you do anything just for you now? I am not very good at that, but today I am going for a massage.

No great words of wisdom, just get the sadness.

Just had a thought. One of the questions that I ask myself now, "what makes me happy?" I have never considered before what pleases me apart from others. I have always derived my happiness from pleasing others, making them happy made me happy. Now, I try to think of what, aside from others, what makes me and only me, feel strong, pampered, capable, accomplished. I don't know if this applies to you but I thought I would share.

I hope you have a peaceful day.