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Newest Member: flowerfarmer (61841)

User Topic: Will I ever be happy again?
♀ 35219
Member # 35219
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


[This message edited by Labmom123 at 8:37 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)]

Posts: 16 | Registered: Apr 2012
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry I didn't see your post, Labmom123. It is oftentimes slow on the weekends, not many people around. (((Labmom123)))

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

Posts: 13449 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
♀ 37735
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, you will be. Sending you strength to get thru this.

Me: BW
Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011
Married 28 years/Together 29 years/4 kids together
OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids
Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

Posts: 2490 | Registered: Dec 2012
♀ 37451
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 4:57 AM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I don't know your story but I can feel your pain. I understand it too well.

I am in the midst of the 1st a season and it feels as if I am getting worse. The memories of last year this time, before I knew what was happening in my life. Grieving for who I was on these days, the innocence.

All I can do to soothe myself right now, to try to counteract the feelings of hopelessness, is to remember how I really felt then. To acknowledge how far I have really come.

It is hard to continue on, day to day with this pain inside. It is so hard to see that it is getting better. I have to make a conscious effort to recognize it. I believe the hardest part is that time factor. I want to make it go faster, get it over with. I want to be better now!!!

I find the times when I feel the best are when I can stay in the moment, try to appreciate the positive things in my life now. Not easy, so much work, sometimes it seems as if the pain has a life of its own. Sometimes it seems as if I have to fight my own mind, my thoughts, to keep from sinking into a pit.

I just try to have hope for a better future. I try to accept that I cannot have the past that I wanted. I try to appreciate how strong I have become (sometimes). I try to be grateful that I will never live that marginal life ever again, (our marriage was pretty bad).

Are you in IC? A Godsend for me.

Do you do anything just for you now? I am not very good at that, but today I am going for a massage.

No great words of wisdom, just get the sadness.

Just had a thought. One of the questions that I ask myself now, "what makes me happy?" I have never considered before what pleases me apart from others. I have always derived my happiness from pleasing others, making them happy made me happy. Now, I try to think of what, aside from others, what makes me and only me, feel strong, pampered, capable, accomplished. I don't know if this applies to you but I thought I would share.

I hope you have a peaceful day.

"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie

Posts: 3336 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
Topic Posts: 4

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