I went out to support a friend's band Friday night and went with two other friends, who happen to be men while new guy was at work. One is my best friend's husband and they have a severely autistic child so they rarely can go out together due to daycare issues. I tend to do things with them both, but separately. I don't think anything of it. My best friend encourages it so that her husband can get some time out and she trusts us both.
Well, new guy didn't take too well to me going out with men. We haven't had a talk about dating exclusively or anything like that. I sent him a text explaining who the men were. I then sent another saying that I put myself in his shoes and that it would eat me alive if he was out with two women, and apoligized to him. Man, oh man, was that ever the RIGHT thing to do. He said that no one has ever voluntarily put themselves in his shoes. It meant a lot to him.
Being a BS myself, I know that I have some trust issues.
I'm hoping that communication may help. Two BSs dating can possibly open up some issues. Any advice?
Communication is key. No topic is taboo, but the other person also gets a say in when the topic gets discussed.
We also made sure we had other things in common besides both being BS. And the BS thing - it's a part of both our individual histories, but it's not a part of our relationship. We trust each other, and while I've had triggers during this relationship with SO, it hasn't been because of anything he has done. A situation might have caused one, but it's my reaction to the past, not my present.
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Be sensitive but know that if something's comes to a head try to work things out but only to the extent you take proper responsibility as well as your partner. He can't pay for your ex actions or lack of actions nor can you.
Enjoy and it can be quite a rewarding relationship
First question, have you given this guy any reason to believe that you cannot be trusted with your male friends?
Second, have your male friends expressed romantic interest in you, or done anything to make your new guy not trust them?
If the answer to both is no then IMO he's out of line. Don't even get me started on the fact that you are not even dating exclusively yet so really he is out of line even saying anything in the first place...
[This message edited by damncutekitty at 10:15 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)]
Don't even get me started on the fact that you are not even dating exclusively yet so really he is out of line even saying anything in the first place...
It wasn't anger. It was that he is developing feelings for me and me being out with men made him realize how much he was feeling for me.
He hasn't met these friends. He didn't know who I was with.