One day you will look back on this time and wonder why the fuck you fought so hard him and not at all for you.
Hope is a devil of a thing - I was tortured by it myself and it made this all far more painful than it needed to be. The death of hope was as necessary as it was agonising.
It sounds to me like WH has made his decision. Now it's time for you to make yours - hold on and stay in this limbo hell or let go, accept it and start focussing on YOU and YOUR future.
He is gone, friend. Wishing him back won't work, fighting hard to get him back won't work, Rugsweeping, bending over backwards, ignoring the flaming red flags, Gaslighting yourself - none of it works. Believe me - I tried. A lot of us do.
He has made a choice. He probably made it well before DD, well before you even noticed anything. They have a head start on us in the beginning but there is a catch for them. With IC and doing the work to face our demons we can grow and heal from this whilst they keep running and stay broken.
Please read the Healing Library - especially about NC and 180.
I never imagined I would one day see his complete lack of remorse as a gift - but I certainly do now.
Even though it is so common it still burns me to read of Unremorseful Waywards laying the blame on the BS. You talk about changes you need to make - that is true of most of us. Ironically in most cases the changes we need to make would mean we would no longer so desperately want R with these parasites. We would demand more for and of ourselves.
I suggest you read the book 'Journey from Abandonment to Healing' and also a gray post by Uncertainone in the Wayward Forum 'What if it is... Rejection?'.
Start fighting for you - start focussing on you. You have no control over what he does but you do control you.