ME: 55 BS
My desire to know everything stemmed from my need to process my WH disgusting A. I felt as if I would not be able to make a rational decision, I would not be able to move forward in R if I did not have the facts.
I knew that my questions and concerns would never go away. Even now, 3yrs out, the only questions that pop up are ones that I never got answers to or never believed the answer.
Fortunately, I was relentless and willing to hear it all during those early days of discovery.
I think it is much like suppressing your emotions, it does not make it go away but often makes it worse. Get it out, work through it, and move forward.
You are right, knowing all of the details would make you feel bad but not knowing may keep you in a world of wonder.
HIM: 63 WH
Married: 30 years
in R 4+ years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.