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Unagie posted 9/22/2013 22:08 PM

I'm working on me, making decisions for the betterment of my life. I might get a federal government job, was sent an email that I was highly qualified and they'd be calling me soon to interview. That's good, I can transfer just about anywhere if I got that. Talking to friends and family and I know in my heart I will not date for a long time. I want to get myself to a good place and love myself more before I attempt anything again. I know that's my choice and has nothing to do with xSO and his behaviors.

I am staying here until I save enough money for my own place. I hear phone convos, not purposely but its a small apt. I hear women's names, I hear clubs and bars mentioned, I hear him talking about how be likes his women to look, and I know he's still talking to the woman he was in love with all those years ago while being with me, the one he reconnected with a couple months ago. It all hurts, I want to run away yet I don't have the money and I can't stay with any friends right now. I'm sick right now, too many 60 hour work weeks trying to get money quicker and my heart hurts. Logically I am telling myself it doesn't matter, his life is his life and you must focus on yours but my heart is still breaking. I'll get through it, I have to.

ThoughtIKnewYa posted 9/22/2013 22:41 PM

(((Unagie)))

Sweetie, it WILL get better- and when it does, it will get a WHOLE LOT BETTER!!

authenticnow posted 9/23/2013 05:14 AM

(((Unagie))) You have come so far, this is the home stretch. I can imagine how difficult it is for you right now. Hang in there, you'll get there.

OK now posted 9/23/2013 08:10 AM

((Unagie}}
My heartfelt sympathies. When you are waist deep in boiling water its not much consolation hearing how things will one day be much better, but there's not much else we can offer to ease your pain.

I agree with authenticnow; its the home stretch and end of this misery is in sight. You won't have to cope with this dreadful isolation much longer.

JanaGreen posted 9/23/2013 08:29 AM

((HUGS)) lady. I hope you're able to move out soon.

Joanh posted 9/23/2013 09:09 AM

Hey there, Hugs to you (Unagie)) Life must be hard and scary, you can do it though. Take these conversations you hear as the final nail. Realize that you have done what you could and howmuch effort you have done. Realize that you tried and it just couldn't be fixed it takes two. And it isn't that way. You are strong. You have courage, and you still have life to live and love. MOST OF ALL you DESERVE TO LOVE YOURSELF AND BE LOVED FOR YOU!
Remember this you are a beautiful person!!! I sure hope you getthe job:-))

knightsbff posted 9/23/2013 13:39 PM

(((Unagie)))

I'm sorry you're hurting. You really have come a long way. Be proud of that!

Good luck with the job.

Sending strength.

SandAway posted 9/23/2013 15:20 PM

You have done so much to fix yourself, he has done very little (obviously). Once your out of that that place you will begin to feel that pain lifted.

Sending you strength ((Unagie))

Unagie posted 9/23/2013 16:55 PM

Thank you guys. Have been sleeping most of the day trying to get rid of this cold. I know it will get better but it helps to hear it from you guys too.

MissesJai posted 9/24/2013 11:06 AM

(((Unagie)))

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