Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: flowerfarmer (61841)

User Topic: Retirement
♀ 36126
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I bought my retirement home early before kids. Then everything went poof.

I am starting off less than what I had in college. You need to spend a little to create a new life going out with friends etc.

I am worried I won't be able to be fully retired in my life. There is time but how do you all balance your new life with what you are able to afford? Do you look back and think of the past and what could have been?

Thank you!

Posts: 1563 | Registered: Jul 2012
♀ 39772
Member # 39772
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am trying NOT to look back but it is hard. I just bought the house from my ex. I am working on lowering bills. For example, I shopped my trash service and lowered my bill from $175 every 3 mos to $104 every 3 mos. Hang in there!

Posts: 72 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 19946
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 1:01 AM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes DDay ended my retirement savings. I may well work till I drop. I'm 53 and this is not what I thought would happen. I save what I can and hope for the best.

I do wish my life was financially easier, but I also wish I hadn't married a weak minded selfish ass hole too. So in the end I am grateful it all changed. I have another chance at love and do my best to keep myself afloat.

[This message edited by InnerLight at 1:05 AM, September 23rd (Monday)]

BS, 56 years
D-day 6-2-08
D after 20 years
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!

Posts: 6650 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:37 AM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My life savings & inheritance is completely gone. I have nothing. Right now I don't even have a job. I think I'll be working until I drop dead of old age. I can't even imagine I'll have enough to buy my kids textbooks for college, let alone pay their tuition.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 21964
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 4:48 AM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, I lost everything. No retirement for me. I have less today financially than ever.

I try and balance the not spending /not living thing. As in I still do things that finances dictate I shouldn't. But I do them as cheaply as possible. So no plane tickets over $250 to visit friends, only buy clothes at places like Marshall's or tj maxx, only buy kindle books from the $1 daily deals (I'd die without lots of reading material around), don't eat out etc.

It sucks but I try and say it could be worse. At least I'm healthy enough to work and I have a good job that provides me housing (bc um I can't afford to even rent a place on my own), ugh.

Posts: 3446 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 6:50 AM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've never had money--ever--in my life. I've always known that I'd work until I died. It's just a fact of my life. I enjoy working (depending on the job... )

I did cash in a few small retirement accounts to pay bills while M to the X because I was counting on his retirement (which he is already getting) but I also knew it would stop when he died.

It's an attitude adjustment. No, I'll never travel to fabulous destinations or live in a huge home, but I've re-prioritized my life, and I don't need those things anymore.

I hope you can find peace and tranquility in your retirement--that's what I'm looking for.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
Him: WXH-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

Posts: 25302 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
♂ 16953
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Depending on your age its imperative to save. Even if its a small amount. Take advantage of any tax deferred option that's available. 401K and alike. Invest in a solid M/F that geared towards growth. Cut back on luxuries in your life. Cable is always a way to save some bucks. Shop around for the best rates on everything. Brown bag it to work and put that money into your 401K. Tax returns and any other found money as well. For the first 5 years or so it wont look like much. But after that it will start to show some numbers. Just be very disciplined with your money and keep saving and contributing to a retirement account.

You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 6851 | Registered: Nov 2007
Topic Posts: 7

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.