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Newest Member: flowerfarmer (61841)

User Topic: warped coparenting
♂ 33287
Member # 33287
Default  Posted: 6:29 AM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DS gets drivers license
DS disobeys WW instruction to come home now before the storm hits
DS loses driving priveleges or two weeks as a consequence.

DS wants gym membership.
WW looks into the best $$$ gym
h&c says no, I will support membership at the basic gym which I use
DS repeatedly says but mom and I discussed and she agreed!
WW sits in silence. Does not either dispute DS statement nor call him out and say she did not promise him this.
Oh, WW says to DS "do not drag me into the middle of this"

So I later take this up with WW. And I am controlling $$$. And the gym membership was just an extension of school as he was to go before school and thus driving to it was ok. This is making me warped.


BH (me, 50)
WS (her, 48)
3 wonderful teens
Heading for Happiness

Posts: 413 | Registered: Sep 2011
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds like your DS is about 16? He's old enough for you to sit down with him and explain the financial facts of life.

If he needs something, you & X will do your best to get it for him; it may not be the most elegant choice, but it will be adequate.

If he wants something, he has to get the agreement of BOTH parents without manipulation. Even if STBXWW doesn't play nice, he has to understand this dynamic.

Yes, this falls into the category of 'co-parenting with a lower muppet', but you have to make the best of it with your kids.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
Him: WXH-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

Posts: 25302 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My parenting teens philosophy - if they need it I will get it. If they want it ( or better than I can afford) they (teen) can pay for it. My (4) girls all had jobs at 16. They needed to put gas in my car that they drove. That required them having a way to support the lifestyle they wanted.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 6708 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 3

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