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warped coparenting

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hopeandchange posted 9/23/2013 06:29 AM

DS gets drivers license
DS disobeys WW instruction to come home now before the storm hits
DS loses driving priveleges or two weeks as a consequence.

DS wants gym membership.
WW looks into the best $$$ gym
h&c says no, I will support membership at the basic gym which I use
DS repeatedly says but mom and I discussed and she agreed!
WW sits in silence. Does not either dispute DS statement nor call him out and say she did not promise him this.
Oh, WW says to DS "do not drag me into the middle of this"

So I later take this up with WW. And I am controlling $$$. And the gym membership was just an extension of school as he was to go before school and thus driving to it was ok. This is making me warped.


Sad in AZ posted 9/23/2013 07:17 AM

It sounds like your DS is about 16? He's old enough for you to sit down with him and explain the financial facts of life.

If he needs something, you & X will do your best to get it for him; it may not be the most elegant choice, but it will be adequate.

If he wants something, he has to get the agreement of BOTH parents without manipulation. Even if STBXWW doesn't play nice, he has to understand this dynamic.

Yes, this falls into the category of 'co-parenting with a lower muppet', but you have to make the best of it with your kids.

Kajem posted 9/23/2013 13:28 PM

My parenting teens philosophy - if they need it I will get it. If they want it ( or better than I can afford) they (teen) can pay for it. My (4) girls all had jobs at 16. They needed to put gas in my car that they drove. That required them having a way to support the lifestyle they wanted.


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