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my "real" feelings show up

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leapoffaith86 posted 9/23/2013 07:16 AM

Yesterday my husband brought his daughters to see their brother and me (we have a 2 week old). When he returned after dropping them off he told me they had seen a really young couple with a baby and was talking with his kids about how miserable they seemed and that it was obviously because they were really young to have a baby. He also mentioned how mad at the boy the girl seemed; and then I said she was probably thinking "I can't believe I have a son with this son of a..." He stared at me and asked me if that was how I felt. I said no, but none of us believed it. I have felt sad all week thinking the A was my fault, I wasn't good enough, I was too pregnant for him to like me... I think I'm really angry too.

Raven96 posted 9/23/2013 07:41 AM

Oh, honey...of course you're angry. Just because you are R doesn't mean you don't FEEL!

Your DDay is really recent. Non-sexual encounter or not, it is still a betrayal!

This A is NOT your fault, and you ARE good enough for him. He is the one that should be thanking his lucky stars that you are willing to work on this...and that can change at any given time. Is he showing remorse? Is he helping you get through this or does he just want it to "go away," or rugsweep?

Please don't allow this to just go away. I did that, and it happened again. That seems to be a common theme with rugsweeping...it happens again because it isn't dealt with. You don't have to do anything now, but know that just because you are working it out doesn't mean that you do all the work. HE needs to do the heavy lifting.

You have a 2-week-old baby. Take care of you and your precious baby right now. Enjoy this time with him, because it goes SO FAST! You can think about your M and make decisions later. In the meantime, make sure your WH actions show you he is fighting for you!!!!! You ARE worth it!

(((Hugs!)))

ShedSomeLight posted 9/23/2013 08:00 AM

You have every right to be angry !!! I suggest starting therapy. My D Day was 7/31. I found out about the affair because she stalked me. He was pulling away and decided to blame me...a person who she does not ever know !!! This can be a rollercoaster of anger and tears. Take care of yourself and if he does not want to go to therapy with you...then you should go yourself.

leapoffaith86 posted 9/23/2013 09:01 AM

we went together to therapy almost immediately, he went by himself last sat and I'm going the day after tomorrow. But you are so right, this has been a rollercoaster. I just want to get down.

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