SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Nature_Girl posted 9/23/2013 12:48 PM

I shared in another post that STBX has won the right to take the children anywhere out of town and he doesn't have to tell me. Not in advance, not at all, not ever. As long as it's "just" one night, he can fly them around the world and I'll never know.

This bothers me so much that I sometimes cannot sleep.

It just now occurred to me that to take them out of the country, wouldn't my kids need passports or VISA's? I don't travel internationally, so I have no idea about this kind of stuff. Well, I do have an idea that both parents would need to sign or give permission (thanks to that "Taken" movie with Liam Neeson.

But would it be possible for STBX to get a passport, VISA, or whatever, without me? For instance, if he were to lie and tell the agency that issues passports or VISAs that I was dead or didn't have legal custody or whatever?

I hate that I have to even think about this kind of stuff. It's just that STBX has proven over & over that he is capable of the most horrifying sexual perversions, so I know have my mind opened too every possibility.

So, could he get a passport or VISA for the kids without me?

Is there a way I could check if this has already happened?

Is there a way I could prevent this from happening?

Tred posted 9/23/2013 12:51 PM

If I recall, you need both parents permission to take a child out of the country.

confused615 posted 9/23/2013 12:51 PM

http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/minors/minors_834.html

Maybe this will help..it says BOTH parents must sign for a minor under 16.

STEP 7: Provide Parental Consent

Both parents must provide consent authorizing passport issuance for a minor under age 16. See the scenarios below, and follow the instruction that best applies to your circumstance:

Both Parents MUST:

Appear in person with the minor
Sign Form DS-11 in front of an Acceptance Agent

One Parent MUST:

Appear in person with the minor
Sign Form DS-11 in front of an Acceptance Agent
Submit the second parents' notarized Statement of Consent (Form DS-3053)

One Parent
(with sole legal custody)
MUST:

Appear in person with the minor
Sign Form DS-11 in front of an Acceptance Agent
Submit primary evidence of sole authority to apply for the child with one of the following:
Minor's certified U.S. or foreign birth certificate listing only the applying parent
Consular Report of Birth Abroad (Form FS-240) or Certification of Birth Abroad (Form DS-1350) listing only the applying parent
Court order granting sole custody to the applying parent (unless child's travel is restricted by that order)
Adoption decree (if applying parents is sole adopting parent)
Court order specifically permitting applying parent's or guardian's travel with the child
Judicial declaration of incompetence of non-applying parent
Death certificate of non-applying parent
NOTE: If none of the above documentation is available, the applying parent must submit Form DS-3053 stating why the non-applying parent/guardian's consent cannot be obtained

A Third Party
(in Loco Parentis applying on behalf of a minor under the age of 16)
MUST:

Submit a notarized written statement or affidavit from both parents or guardians authorizing a third-party to apply for a passport
When the statement of affidavit is from only one parent/guardian, the third-party must present evidence of sole custody of the authorizing parent/guardian.

IMPORTANT NOTE: The written consent from the non-applying parent that accompanies an application for a new passport must be less than 3 months old. New written consent from the non-applying parent must be obtained and submitted with any future passport application for the minor under age 16.

STEP 8: Pay the Applicable Fee

Please see Current Passport Fees and methods of payment.

STEP 9 : Submit One Passport Photo

We can help you submit a clear and correctly exposed passport photo the first time - especially when applying for the U.S. Passport Card. To avoid processing delays, review all the photo requirements and tips on how to take photos of your baby or toddler.

[This message edited by confused615 at 12:53 PM, September 23rd (Monday)]

StrongerOne posted 9/23/2013 13:06 PM

Yes, your children need passports to leave the country.

Having recently had to get a passport for a minor under 16, I can tell you that: you will need birth certificates for each kid who needs a passport, photos, and forms to fill out. You have to make an appointment to have your passport materials reviewed and accepted in person (can be a substantial wait, depending on your location), and both parents must appear with the child with all of their own appropriate documentation and identification (we used drivers licenses and birth certificates -- needed two pieces of I.d. From a fairly limited list of ok items.). To get around the both parents must appear requirement, you would have to bring appropriate legal paperwork showing the other parent was dead or had given up rights or gave permission, etc.

You can expedite passport processing via mail if you are willing to spend some money, but again you would have the documentation requirements.

The sticking point for your scary STBX would be coming up with the documents needed. I think it would be hard for him to get the kids out of the country. I feel bad saying this, NG, but would he know skeevy characters who could and would make fake documents? That's a pretty substantial crime, but ...,

I feel so bad for you, NG! Wishing you can get free of this loathsome person and take your kids somewhere far from him.

Nature_Girl posted 9/23/2013 13:15 PM

Yes, he could, would and does know skeevy people. Do drug dealers count? There's more than one in the picture, including the heroin dealer he was/is in love with. How about a prostitute? How about people who travel internationally for business? How about a very best friend who's first wife went to Federal prison for embezzling, and who's second love was a stripper who died of a drug overdose? How about relatives who asked us to participate in a tax fraud scheme to cheat the IRS? (I refused to participate, BTW)

FirstLoveGone posted 9/23/2013 13:31 PM

When I traveled out of the country with minor DD I needed the following to apply for DD's VISA: (1) a notarized letter from XH, (2) copy of XH's driver's license or other government issued ID, and (3) copy of XH's passport.

I was able to travel with DD on her current passport, but I plan to go with XH to get her a new one once it expires.

What2do posted 9/23/2013 13:39 PM

Why don't you get them a passport, and hold it yourself. Wouldn't that stop him from using dirty tricks to obtain a passport.

Nature_Girl posted 9/23/2013 13:43 PM

Yes it would, but it would require his participation to get the passport, so he'd then know that the kids had passports, so he could then demand I give the passports to him so he could travel with the kids.

I'd rather they didn't have passports. I'm reading the page now about preventing a parent from taking your child out of the country.

I have no idea if this ever even occurred to him. I just am realizing now that I need to consider all possibilities, however outlandish, and do what I can.

hathnofury posted 9/23/2013 14:27 PM

I have taken my kids to Canada without passports before about three years ago by car. I was with my husband, and we took the kids' birth certificates with us to prove their citizenship because we were told that was what was required. Nobody asked us going in, or coming back out, for their papers. If both parents appear to be there, and don't look suspicious, I don't think they can logistically check every single car with kids. I have had friends that were same sex parents have papers checked and verified going through border patrol though.

HOWEVER, you can be sure they took OUR id's, and that they had us on film, and I'm sure they take record of license plates electronically, probably even have video records of the car. I don't think they would have skipped the birth certificate check if we didn't have the same last name and address on our stuff. And it wouldn't take long to track us down in the entry records if they were tipped off.

Weatherly posted 9/23/2013 14:50 PM

I just got the kids passports. I did not need dipshit to sign. I don't even know if he knows I have them. But, that is because I have sole custody.

I know you don't, but I'm telling you this to let you know, it is not easy to get a passport without both parents signatures. I had to have two copies of every single portion of my divorce decree and settlement agreement, one for each kid for each envelope. And, I did have copies, but, I had to have them notarize, they had to be embossed. I got asked a lot of questions.

We went to Canada recently. Just walked over the bridge, and still needed both boy's passports.

Nature_Girl posted 9/23/2013 14:54 PM

Actually, I am going to be awarded sole legal & physical custody.

Griefstricken25 posted 9/23/2013 14:59 PM

I don't know how it all works in the U.S. I'm in Canada and in order to get my kids passports, I had to send all my divorce papers in with the applications. They had to confirm that I had sole custody and could request passports without the other parent's signature. They did need his contact info, but he didn't have to sign (thankfully, since he doesn't even live in the country).

As for leaving the country once the passports are granted, that all depends on how vigilant border guards are. I have always had letters of permission (even with him overseas and me going over to the U.S. for a weekend). I don't want to take any chances. However, I have driven across borders and flown internationally without any letters being asked for. They've just looked at all our passports and let us go.

But I don't see how he could get passports for them without your permission. What is the legal custody situation?

Pass posted 9/23/2013 15:03 PM

NG, I'm constantly amazed at all the scary shit you have to consider and deal with. I have no advice, but wanted to say that you are very strong for taking this horseshit on. I'm hoping the best for you.

Weatherly posted 9/23/2013 15:05 PM

Actually, I am going to be awarded sole legal & physical custody

Then he can't get them passports, at all. And, you can, without a word to him. It's a small hassle to do, but, worth it. I did end up getting them for the kids because, just in case he wanted to try, they would already have them and he couldn't get them again,.

solus sto posted 9/23/2013 15:27 PM

Yes, your ex can get passports or visas without your consent.

It's not legal, but it happens.

I'd recommend that YOU get these documents first. Once they're issued, it will become more difficult for your husband to travel out of the country without your permission or knowledge---because YOU will have the necessary documents in hand (and he won't be able to get them issued without your knowledge because they'll already have been issued).

[This message edited by solus sto at 3:30 PM, September 23rd (Monday)]

StrongerOne posted 9/23/2013 15:56 PM

I'm guessing that until she is actually awarded sole legal and physical custody, she can't get those passports without the Creep's sign-off.

Ugh, how much longer do you have to put up with this, NG? I feel so bad for you! Praying for you and your littles.