(((cantaccept)))
I have never been suspicious, jealous, I do not like this new side of me.
I feel 100% the same way. This past weekend my wife left to do her work...just like your husband leaves to do his work. Pre-A I always thought my wife looked attractive, but never felt jealous at all. This time I noticed how nice she looked and felt some jealousy. I told her I felt this...then felt a bit stupid, vulnerable really. I always thought jealousy was a teenage thing....I can't recall being jealous of anyone in my life...over cars, pretty GF's, houses, job titles, salaries, etc..
I too hate this part of me, but am recognizing it is a part of me.
I asked him, attractive? Why don't you see for yourself.
On top of attractiveness being a relative thing, I don't think this has much to do with AP. My wifes AP is older and dumpy (double chin, belly). By her own admission she did not find him attractive in that way initially...but, of course, it developed into an attraction..almost an obsession.
I have also scanned the thread on SI where people can post pictures. I spent an hour looking at all the people....WS and BS alike. What I saw were physically ugly, average, and stunning people...on both sides.
While there is something to be said about "catching someones eye", there is a bigger reason, motive why people committ adultery...can't answer that fully. But it has very little to do with the AP's in anyway (except that they were "available" and "receptive") and has almost everything to do with the WS's.
Your husband "gets it", my wife "gets it". They may not have fully expressed what this means to us...but they know enough to not repeat the past with regards to committing adultery.
You are like me and other BS's on here....we desire to fully trust our spouses, logically recognize our spouses have made progress, but the hurt and pain from the betrayal lingers.
Hang in there...I will say a specific prayer for you on this.
God be with us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 3:34 PM, September 23rd (Monday)]