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Newest Member: manwhocantbemove (45699)

User Topic: Stabbed in the heart. Again.
ddame23
♀ 40407
Member # 40407
Concerned  Posted: 1:24 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH is a musician and I took my son to see WH play at a fundraiser this weekend. I met the partner of one of WH's bandmates for the first time at the event. I introduced myself to him saying, "Hi, I'm ___, WH's better half. Nice to meet you." He shakes my hand and replies, "You're not the girl he brought last time." I felt my gut drop. I shattered. I wanted to go home then and there but I was stuck as we came in one car. I had to spend the next 4 hours pretending like I hadn't been stabbed in the heart, and the rest of the weekend pretending like I was ok when I just wanted to die.


D-Day April 18 2013
TT for Over 18 months
The whole Truth 7/21/14
Spoke (wrote) too soon more TT 7/23/14
He has lost all credibility, my respect, my love.
Can't figure out what the hell I'm doing still in this marriage.

Posts: 61 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Coastal Empire, GA
brokendancer7
♀ 39911
Member # 39911
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry. That awful adrenaline/stomach wrenching/heart stopping moment is something nobody should have to feel.

Was this a new shock? Did you ask your H about it?


Me: BS - 58
Him: WS - 56
Married 34 yrs

Latest DD - April 2013, PA


Posts: 198 | Registered: Jul 2013
yousaid4ever
♀ 32626
Member # 32626
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((ddame23))))) I'm so sorry, my heart is hurting for you. That is the most awful feeling. I hate hate it!!!


I took your words and I believed
In everything you said to me
Cause you said forever
And ever, who knew?......Pink

BS(me)55...STBXWH 55
Married 37 yrs/4 grown children, 5 grandchildren
DD's-10/75; 10/80; 09/92; 12/09; 12/10; 03/11...more?


Posts: 76 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Utah
catlover50
♀ 37154
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well that was a damned insensitive thing to say! Ouch.

I'm so sorry.

I was uncomfortable for awhile going to my H's work place since the LTA started there and everyone knew (I assume). I just decided finally that they all like me and if they think anything it's that he was crazy to do what he did.

My heart goes out to you.



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1813 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
Tred
♂ 34086
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with brokendancer - did you discuss this with your H?


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4072 | Registered: Dec 2011
Tearsoflove
♀ 8271
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband had a friend who made jokes like that all the time. I hope that's what this guy was doing. It's not funny but some people are just really insensitive.


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4239 | Registered: Sep 2005
Raven96
♀ 40298
Member # 40298
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm hoping Tears is right, especially since you SAID you were WH's better half. Does this bandmate know what WH did? He might have just been thinking he was being funny (albeit stupid) because he DOESN'T know. Did you talk to your WH about it?

Sending hugs your way and really hoping it was just a stupid comment/joke.


Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013
iwillNOT
♀ 40605
Member # 40605
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry! How horrible!

(((ddame23)))

Breathe, hug your son, do something loving for yourself...

Can you ask/tell your husband about this? At the very least he should know how this has hurt you.


Me: BS, 43
Him: WH, 44
Together 21 years
Married 14 years
Kiddos 2,6,8,10
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Rugsweep now, pay later. Ask me how I know.

Posts: 513 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
Josephine01
♀ 38511
Member # 38511
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What did Mr.ddame23 have to say about this? Are you going to do some snooping before you tell him? Do you think that tears might be right?


Me, 42 BS
H, 61 WH
2 boys 19 and 15 years old
Married 24 years

Posts: 314 | Registered: Feb 2013
SoOver96
♀ 40169
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, September 23rd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What did WS say when you confronted him

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
ddame23
♀ 40407
Member # 40407
Default  Posted: 3:14 AM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for all the kind words. I did talk to WH and we think the guy was just making a bad joke, but it didn't hurt any less.


D-Day April 18 2013
TT for Over 18 months
The whole Truth 7/21/14
Spoke (wrote) too soon more TT 7/23/14
He has lost all credibility, my respect, my love.
Can't figure out what the hell I'm doing still in this marriage.

Posts: 61 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Coastal Empire, GA
TrulySad
♀ 39652
Member # 39652
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"You're not the girl he brought last time."

What if he was trying to tell you something he thought you would want to know? Some people aren't the best at delivering bad news. I wouldn't be quick to brush this off.

And I'm so sorry. I know how it feels to have someone drop a bombshell on you, and a child is there, so all you can do is attempt to fake it, till you can crawl into the nearest available hole.


Me: Sad, but I will survive

True Love: What I have for my beautiful children.


Posts: 481 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 12

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