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Today is my birthday

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Dawn58 posted 9/23/2013 17:19 PM

It's my birthday today, the first birthday since Dday. I am 55 today and starting my life over. Did not think that's where I would be, but am grateful to be here. This day gives me an opportunity to look at where I want my life to be. It is a new beginning.

I do feel sad though. I am mourning the loss of my marriage - the dream of the marriage I thought I had actually. I feel sad that there will be no one to celebrate my birthday with me tonight - even though I will be in class tonight. My Dad and niece called me this morning to wish me a happy birthday and the gentleman I started dating a couple of weeks ago took me out to dinner last night and brought me flowers. So that was very sweet. I need to focus on what is in my life now and be grateful for that.

I know that is what I should be doing, but I find myself looking back today. I had to send some stuff to the attorney regarding the divorce today and found out that my soon to be ex is already engaged to the other woman. Found that out 2 days ago. My mother also died on my birthday 25 years ago. So, I guess there is reason to feel sad on this day. Maybe I should throw myself a pity party tonight!!!

I am very grateful for my friends and family. I am so very grateful that the cheater is no longer in my life and as painful as the separation has been, it has afforded me a chance to create a better life for myself. I am grateful that I found a passion and am in school pursuing that. I am grateful that I saw my son this week up in the Bay area and had so much fun with him. So, there is good in my life today.

I am so grateful that I am not with the soon to be ex. I am so grateful that I love myself enough to know that I do not deserve that. I am so grateful for the strength and courage that I have found. I am so grateful that I found my laughter again and for the moments of peace and contentment I have found. I am grateful for the warmth of the sun on my face. I am grateful for the brave people I have met on this website, who have found recovery, one step at a time and emerge on other side, giving me the courage and hope to keep on!!!!

My wish is that my heart heals so that I can be the loving, whole, strong and kind woman that I know I am. My wish is to release the man I married, so that I may move on with grace and dignity. That is my wish for today.

k94ever posted 9/23/2013 17:48 PM

Happy Birthday Dawn!!!!

{{{birthday hug}}}

Yaknow Lady....it sure sounds to me like you've got yourself together and pretty soon you'll be running for "Overlord of the World".

Go have a birthday cookie (cakes are highly over-rated).

k9

phmh posted 9/23/2013 18:12 PM

Happy birthday! Save this somewhere, so you can look back next year when you hit 56 and see how far you've come!

Sometimes our healing is so incremental that we can't see it, but you've made so much progress and will make so much more.

want_to_forgive posted 9/23/2013 19:34 PM

Happy Birthday Dawn!

I love the idea phmh had, save this for next year and I bet you will be amazed at how much you heal in the next year!

Random thoughts posted 9/23/2013 19:37 PM

Happy Birthday Dawn.

I pray that today and all days forward that you value yourself to never settle for less than you deserve.

Embers2Fire posted 9/23/2013 20:32 PM

Happy Birthday. May life bring you love, joy, passion, happiness and strength, all of this in sufficient portions to wash away the pain, loss and grief that you have endured. Be blessed.

nowiknow23 posted 9/23/2013 20:56 PM

Happy Birthday, Dawn.
((((hugs))))

click4it posted 9/23/2013 21:08 PM

a very happy birthday to you!

fraeuken posted 9/23/2013 21:20 PM

Happy birthday and to new beginnings!

CheaterMagnet posted 9/23/2013 21:34 PM

Happy Birthday Dawn! I've followed your story for a long while and I've seen you grown stronger and stronger. You are a hero.

((((HUGS))))

damncutekitty posted 9/23/2013 22:28 PM

Happy Birthday!

bbee posted 9/23/2013 22:34 PM

Happy Birthday, Dawn! Seems to me like you're doing pretty damn awesome!

Dawn58 posted 9/24/2013 02:33 AM

Tjank you for the birthday wishes!! I like the idea of keeping this and rereading this in a year, to see my progress. I know I will be in a much better place. Last year, on my birthday, was with WS and he had already started the affair and I was clueless. This year, no cheating spouse in my bed. So, even in this year, I can see how much better my life is. No longer with the cheater and that is a gift!!!

SBB posted 9/24/2013 08:02 AM

So beautiful Dawn. Here's to positive wishes and seeking out sunshine.

Happy Birthday!!

wildbananas posted 9/24/2013 09:18 AM

Happy birthday, Dawn!

Personally, I'm in favor of birthday ice cream.

wonderingbull posted 9/24/2013 10:47 AM

Happy birthday girl...

You're the bomb...

WB

better4me posted 9/24/2013 15:30 PM

Happy Birthday to you! ((Birthday hug))

sunshine226 posted 9/28/2013 13:27 PM

happy birthday

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