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Dawn58 (original poster member #37656) posted at 11:19 PM on Monday, September 23rd, 2013
It's my birthday today, the first birthday since Dday. I am 55 today and starting my life over. Did not think that's where I would be, but am grateful to be here. This day gives me an opportunity to look at where I want my life to be. It is a new beginning.
I do feel sad though. I am mourning the loss of my marriage - the dream of the marriage I thought I had actually. I feel sad that there will be no one to celebrate my birthday with me tonight - even though I will be in class tonight. My Dad and niece called me this morning to wish me a happy birthday and the gentleman I started dating a couple of weeks ago took me out to dinner last night and brought me flowers. So that was very sweet. I need to focus on what is in my life now and be grateful for that.
I know that is what I should be doing, but I find myself looking back today. I had to send some stuff to the attorney regarding the divorce today and found out that my soon to be ex is already engaged to the other woman. Found that out 2 days ago. My mother also died on my birthday 25 years ago. So, I guess there is reason to feel sad on this day. Maybe I should throw myself a pity party tonight!!!
I am very grateful for my friends and family. I am so very grateful that the cheater is no longer in my life and as painful as the separation has been, it has afforded me a chance to create a better life for myself. I am grateful that I found a passion and am in school pursuing that. I am grateful that I saw my son this week up in the Bay area and had so much fun with him. So, there is good in my life today.
I am so grateful that I am not with the soon to be ex. I am so grateful that I love myself enough to know that I do not deserve that. I am so grateful for the strength and courage that I have found. I am so grateful that I found my laughter again and for the moments of peace and contentment I have found. I am grateful for the warmth of the sun on my face. I am grateful for the brave people I have met on this website, who have found recovery, one step at a time and emerge on other side, giving me the courage and hope to keep on!!!!
My wish is that my heart heals so that I can be the loving, whole, strong and kind woman that I know I am. My wish is to release the man I married, so that I may move on with grace and dignity. That is my wish for today.
I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.
k94ever ( member #11176) posted at 11:48 PM on Monday, September 23rd, 2013
Happy Birthday Dawn!!!!
{{{birthday hug}}}
Yaknow Lady....it sure sounds to me like you've got yourself together and pretty soon you'll be running for "Overlord of the World".
Go have a birthday cookie (cakes are highly over-rated).
k9
BS:61
WS: 53
Betrayed: 24 years
Affairs: 15 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.
phmh ( member #34146) posted at 12:12 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Happy birthday! Save this somewhere, so you can look back next year when you hit 56 and see how far you've come!
Sometimes our healing is so incremental that we can't see it, but you've made so much progress and will make so much more.
Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
want_to_forgive ( member #20470) posted at 1:34 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Happy Birthday Dawn!
I love the idea phmh had, save this for next year and I bet you will be amazed at how much you heal in the next year!
M 11 years
Me: BS 38 Him: WS
DDay June 2006, LTA BFFOW
Divorced April 5, 2013
Not making a decision is making a decision.
Random thoughts ( member #2959) posted at 1:37 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Happy Birthday Dawn.
I pray that today and all days forward that you value yourself to never settle for less than you deserve.
Those three words are said too much and not enough.Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol.FWW
Embers2Fire ( member #25557) posted at 2:32 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Happy Birthday. May life bring you love, joy, passion, happiness and strength, all of this in sufficient portions to wash away the pain, loss and grief that you have endured. Be blessed.
BS - me 49
XWH - him 48
DDay 05/08
Married 25 yrs, 2 sons 28/23
Divorced
2nd Marriage 11/1/13 livng the dream
God has breathed new life into me fanning my fading Embers into a brightly burning Fire.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:56 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Happy Birthday, Dawn. 
((((hugs))))
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
click4it ( member #209) posted at 3:08 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
a very happy birthday to you!
Me: 45
Two boys: 20 and 17
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01
Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?
fraeuken ( member #30742) posted at 3:20 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Happy birthday and to new beginnings!
Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.
CheaterMagnet ( member #33581) posted at 3:34 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Happy Birthday Dawn! I've followed your story for a long while and I've seen you grown stronger and stronger. You are a hero.
((((HUGS))))
If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5
damncutekitty ( member #5929) posted at 4:28 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
12/18/15 found out my now EX boyfriend was trolling CL for underage girls. From the cops. The fun never stops.
bbee ( member #17840) posted at 4:34 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Happy Birthday, Dawn! Seems to me like you're doing pretty damn awesome!
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
All's Well That Ends Well, Act I, Scene 1
Dawn58 (original poster member #37656) posted at 8:33 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Tjank you for the birthday wishes!! I like the idea of keeping this and rereading this in a year, to see my progress. I know I will be in a much better place. Last year, on my birthday, was with WS and he had already started the affair and I was clueless. This year, no cheating spouse in my bed. So, even in this year, I can see how much better my life is. No longer with the cheater and that is a gift!!!
I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 2:02 PM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
So beautiful Dawn. Here's to positive wishes and seeking out sunshine.
Happy Birthday!!
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 3:18 PM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Happy birthday, Dawn!
Personally, I'm in favor of birthday ice cream. 
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
wonderingbull ( member #14833) posted at 4:47 PM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Happy birthday girl...
You're the bomb...
WB
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...
James Taylor
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 9:30 PM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2013
Happy Birthday to you! ((Birthday hug))
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
sunshine226 ( member #38851) posted at 7:27 PM on Saturday, September 28th, 2013
happy birthday
Me-BS (44)
Him-WS (47)
DDay 1/1/2012, common law for 22 1/2 years when he began A in September 2011
Status: moving on without him
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